Music and
poetry are full of
references to really
evil exes. Especially in
country music, where the singer's ex typically takes everything but the
walls of the
house and the
dog. However, at least in my case, I get along really well with most of my exes. Probably because our
breakups were less about
screaming and accusing each other of
horrible things and more about quietly saying "This isn't working, is it?" Oddly enough, this somehow has let me remain friends with people who're very important to me.
Last weekend, my ex Ian came to see me. I picked him up at the train station, we went out to dinner, and then watched a movie. We went to bed and cuddled. Nothing sexual happened. We talked for about two hours. I cried. He told me a lot of things that I needed to hear, and we calmly discussed some of the problems with our relationship, including the things that finally killed it.
All in all, it made for a very good, albeit intense, experience. It couldn't have happened if we'd parted on bad terms. If either of us had been a dickhead about the breakup, we both would have lost the opportunity to learn more about ourselves, and hopefully become better partners in the future.
And the overall point: If possible, stay on good terms with people you've been intimate with. They can be very vaulable resources.