I was in a cafe, one I've seen before in dreams, with a television on one of those hinged arms, up in the corner.

The television was playing a PAL version of chrono cross, something that does not exist, and as soon as I noticed this, I was no longer corporeal, but watching a narrative in my own dream.

Gandalf walked past, and up to the bartender, and the narrator said something along the lines of "Gandalf aquires the entire run of one hundred PAL versions of Chrono Cross, to auction off for charity."

I thought that was very nice of him, but I couldn't tell him, because I was incorporeal and had no voice.

I watched as Gandalf walked off, somehow holding 100 playstation games in his arms as well as his staff o power. Then he walked into the television scene, which was showing a beach.

That's not to say he walked into the televison, rather, he walked around it, and was somehow in it. You know how dream transitions work.

Walking beside the giant (I have just realised that it was the captain from Lilo & Stitch), on his right, they proceeded down the beach. A small flying creature that played no part in this was on the giant's left. They continued down the beach, to where the sand was white, with a thin overlay of blue water. There was no surf.

Standing but 15 metres away was something resembling the orc army in Warcraft II, looking menacing as always. Gandalf slammed his staff on the sand, and shouted "You shall not pass!". At which point they attempted to, of course.

I found myself in the body of a samurai of some description, my bamboo armour entirely red, my katana made of some brittle red stone, with a black tip. There were about 20 of us red samurai, and occasionally, they would plunge their swords into the sand, then drag them out. Dream narrative told me that this was because they were undead, and when they plunged their swords into the sand, if they had become corrupted, they would be unable to draw them out again. Worried, I stuck my sword in the sand, and pulled it out. So that was ok.

I ran along the beach with my companions, dealing death to those who opposed us. Gandalf, the spaceship captain, and most of the bigger orcs had disappeared, we were fighting small undead creatures, and out friends who had turned. They all had their swords, still, but the black tips were shattered off. I killed one, but he cut me slightly. I stabbed the ground, and as I pulled the katana out, I felt a crack vibrate through it.

Pulling out my now-jagged dagger, I went to work, hacking and slashing, but it was brittle, and broke on the bamboo armour of one of the non-turned undead samurai. I grabbed him by the throat and started to shake him to death, and he slapped me in the face.

I blinked, opened my eyes, and found myself in the middle of a party, being shaken by a friend I haven't seen in years, Andrew. He was wearing red, but not bamboo, and didn't have a katana with him. I asked him why he was shaking me, and he said I'd been running around, acting like a dick. Accepting that I was now recovered, he let me go, and I proceeded to enjoy the party.