I admit it. I have solicited the services of a prostitute. I have had sex with a prostitute. Here is my take on the whole deal.

Until the breakup of my second serious relationship, I've never really given much thought on the availability of hookers, or even paying one. It never came across my mind. You know, it's kind of taboo, and I am young, and I'm not supposed to think about such things. Until last year.

Ka-boom! The end of a long relationship. Due to the distance between us (I was in Cornell, she was in LA), we developed quite a high level of anger and frustration toward each other's lack of time and the attention we gave to each other while we were separated. Why did I even try to preserve this stupid relationship? She was a rich bitch, pampered all her life, and she demanded incredible amounts of attention which I cannot possibly afford, physically, academically and financially. Like children, we continued to live in the past, hating, not forgiving. I don't know why I didn't forget about the bitch and move on, I did that with my first relationship. Maybe it was the pressures of Cornell......

Despite previous temptations to pay for sex (the highest being while I was stumbling around in a drug-induced haze on the streets of Amsterdam and Rotterdam), I had not actually paid for a woman's services. I don't know why. Maybe it was the lack of frustration and the fact that I had a girlfriend at that time. Sex is not free with a relationship. It costs a lot. Time, money, effort; all must be shoved into one person. For what? If the person is your true love, then it is all worth it. True enough.

If that person was not the right one (like in my situation), what next? All that wasted. Last Christmas, I got sick of it. Sexual frustration was starting to build, but there was no chance I would engage in a relationship in Shanghai. All the girls I knew wouldn't think of a one night stand, and I was leaving soon anyways; no point engaging in a serious relationship. Then an idea came to me. Hookers are cheap in China. I had money. STDs are very rare among the more respectable pickup spots in China (especially the places frequented by foreigners such as myself). They're young, my age, some were even good looking. They cost more, but I can afford it. Oh why not? What do I have to lose? Heck, I even went with three other guys (separate rooms and women, of course).

Afterwards, I didn't even really care. I enjoyed the experience (sex is always nice). It had no fine print, no future consequences, no attachments. I didn't have to waste time and money on a serious relationship. I compare it to a college one night stand. Did you waste time drinking with her? A few hours of smoking, talking, drinking, and the next thing you know, you're getting poontang (as a friend of mine puts it). Compare sex with a prostitute. I pay and I immediately get it from an anonymous woman, who doesn't care who I am. In some ways, it is better than the college one night stand, because it is a surefire deal (sometimes college chicks back out), and I get immediate satisfaction. The money paid could even be less than the alcohol costs. STDs? Pretty prevalent in college. The girls at Cornell are too fickle, besides. Here's a good rule for getting ass in Cornell: conform. That's all you have to do.

So I'm a lazy son of a bitch. I see prostitution as a mere exchange of goods and services for money. I get serviced for money. For a hassle-free temporary deal, with none of the "I thought you were going to call me?" bullshit. In Cornell, I have not solicited any hookers. In fact, I did not have sex in Cornell. You want to know why? Because, IMHO, some of the chicks there are dirtier than the prostitutes I've hired. And besides, you have to give them copious amounts of alcohol before they do anything, and by then they are so drunk the sex is not enjoyable.

So here's my $0.02. I have neither the time or energy right now to engage in a serious relationship. So I take the alternative. Yes, I'm horny. Aren't we all? I don't feel like spending the effort in Cornell to woo the fickle bitches there, and I don't know any available female friends in Shanghai, so I take the easy way out. I get what I want, no strings attached. It's quick and easy, no effort on my side. See it as a harmless recreational drug, if you will. Pay, enjoy, leave. As easy as 1-2-3.


Some people might view me differently if they found out about this. Don't. I'm still the same person they've always known. Parents who views their children's night-time dalliances with apathy should not be outraged by this comparable activity, which, in some ways, contains about as much love as those relationships. How is it better to have an alcohol-induced one night stand than to pay the money to the woman instead of the bartender and get it right away? Morally, it is no better.