I was in this big hotel room with no doors, with a big comfy lazy boy chair right in the middle. Damn me if I was in the bloody Matrix, and I was Neo! There was no Morpheus there, though, it was this goofy golfer guy from dannye's home node! I thought I was stoned or something, but it is a dream, so what the hey.

He took this pill out of his gooky liking golf pants. Straight out of the movie, I tell ya. There was the blue pill, shaped like a donkey. "If you take the blue pill, you will live your dull, liberal life out, ignorant but happy." Then he took out this red pill, shaped like an elephant. "If you take the red pill, you will become an Illuminatus, and learn the ugly truth. Oh what the hell, might as well follow the movie plot, so I took the elephant and ate it.

POOF! I was standing in Cornell University again. There was all these ominous looking people in black suits all running toward me. Holy shit, agents! So I ran down Libe Slope toward my dorm room, but there were more agents! There were chanting these wierd slogans. Then the biggest agent turned around, and it was Bill Clinton! "I am Agent Bill."

What could I do? I ran like a whipped dog down the side of the dorm, and I'll be damned if it was Hot Truck Bob and Will. All of a sudden a huge Triple Suicide popped out of nowhere. Bob started ranting about illumination and sandwiches, and how all the other assistants sucked. Will handed me the bigass sandwich, and I ate it the whole thing real fast-like.

I felt power running through my blood! Like Popeye or some shit. I ran out and kicked all the agents asses. Sweet shit. Bob gave me a WTF sandwich, which was even bigger than the Triple Suicide. I walked over to my friend's frat and had some sex with the sorority girls. Then I woke up.

Must be the company cafeteria food. I've been getting wacky dreams in the office in the last two days.