(thing) by Cugel the clever Thu May 25 2000 at 10:21:45
More Yogi-isms (because I love them, and I'm sure you will like them as well :-)
  • "He must have made that before he died." -- Referring to a Steve McQueen movie.
  • "I want to thank you for making this day necessary." -- On Yogi Berra Appreciation Day in St. Louis in 1947.
  • "I'd find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I'd return it." -- When asked what he would do if he found a million dollars.
  • "Think! How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?"
  • "You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."
  • "I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early."
  • "If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else."
  • "If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."
  • "You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."
  • "It was impossible to get a conversation going; everybody was talking too much."
  • "Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hitting."
  • "A nickel isn't worth a dime today."
  • "Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded."
  • "It gets late early out there." -- Referring to the bad sun conditions in left field at the stadium.
  • Once, Yogi's wife Carmen asked, "Yogi, you are from St. Louis, we live in New Jersey, and you played ball in New York. If you go before I do, where would you like me to have you buried?" Yogi replied, "Surprise me."
  • "Do you mean now?" -- When asked for the time.
  • "The wind always seems to blow against catchers when they are running."
  • "If you come to a fork in the road, take it."
  • "You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn't enough in the second half you give what's left."
  • "90% of the putts that are short don't go in."
  • "I made a wrong mistake."
  • "Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself." -- After being told he looked cool.
  • "I always thought that record would stand until it was broken."
  • "Yeah, but we're making great time!" -- In reply to "Hey Yogi, I think we're lost."
  • "Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel."
  • "It's never happened in the World Series competition, and it still hasn't."
  • "I'd say he's done more than that." -- When asked if first baseman Don Mattingly had exceeded expectations for the current season.
  • "The other teams could make trouble for us if they win."
  • "I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?"
  • "It ain't the heat; it's the humility."
  • "The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase."
  • "You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
(most of these are attributed, I have to say Yogi Berra sometimes does sound like Dan Quayle, only a lot smarter)
I like it!