Here's a GTKY day log. Down vote it to hell. Again you prove me right about life.
The depth of human caring I will never understand. Nor do I want to.
I just ask for time alone, for the sermons on how to address my life, and how I want to live my life to be gone.
What do I get in return? JDooty1234 writing a day log in my honor about how "wrong" I am in what I want. When did it become his, or anyone else's, priority on what I want to do with my life and what I do in it? I don't raise a finger, except one and it isn't the index, in effort in telling him, or anyone for that matter, what they should do. I let them do what they want. That is how you learn.
I'm sick of people in my life. Telling me who I should be. What I should become. How I will one day find happiness. I don't like seeing people. I prefer sitting at home, watching a good movie, working on a story, or going out driving, endless roads that I can move along, etc. That way I don't have to deal with people. Am I a crime against humanity? Am I so wrong in wanting these? When did this become a crime?
Do I care?
Nope, not at all. Yes, that is my "mantra". I could really care less what you think about me, or what you believe about me. I don't care about my life or what goes on in it. I don't ask others to look out for me or give me sermons on how I should live. I don't ask for anything. I don't want understanding, I don't want caring.
I think I'm doing much better since my February 19, 2003 Day Log. I've changed a lot. I'm not that poor, defenseless "child" crying out in the night for forgiveness anymore, I don't look for your understanding. I don't care what you think. You don't know me! Move along, care about people you do know and don't waste it on me!
I'm stronger now, mentally and physically. Anger is the ultimate healer, comforter, builder, destroyer. It gives you power and strength. It fuels the fire that I need. It cauterizes my wounds on my soul and being. It forges armor for me so I no longer fear the day, the long night, or anything that comes in my life. It keeps me whole, a constant reminder of what I've payed. So what if I've become a monster in the process? So what if I had to give up everything for the anger, the fire, to heal me? Is this your life?.
No, it's not. So why do you try to rule it? Why do you try to change it?
Do I care. No. Should I? No. You, the reader on e2, don't know me. You don't know what I do in my life. How I live my life. You don't care. And I don't want you to. I don't ask you to. You shouldn't. You don't know me.
I leave you with this. Look up lyrics on a song called "The Way I Am" by Eminem. I don't care if you love him or want to crucify him. That is my "mantra". This song is exactly what I am.
It's The Way I Am...