Today, Saturday June 8, 2002 has been one of those days that have been awesome yet sad.
I woke up late, waking to the sound of Warning by Incubus, which is a really good song. I layed there like I do most mornings wondering what the hell I'm going to make of my day. Will this day be different? Will this day lead me in the right direction to find love, friendship, etc? Or will it pass me by like a fucking semi?
I didn't know. You usually don't know till you wake up the next morning and wonder what the fuck happened the day before! But not today.
Today there was a festival in town. Nothing big or spectacular, the usual. Well my friend, a girl (believe it or not) asked me if I wanted to go. She is my best friend's ex, and i won't go into that, but I said sure. A few hours later she calls back. A friend of hers wanted to go and she wanted to make sure that it was okay. I really didn't care.
Now for a time warp that will explain what i have to write later on.
I've been through 3 really bad relationships and I should have realized that the first night that I went out with them. I finally got so pissed off with myself that I said "No more! I'm staying alone! I'm tired of getting treated like shit all the time." So that was that. My friends and family tried to talk me otherwise but I wouldn't have it.
And this is where life gives you a kick in the rear...
So I go with Sarah to pick up this girl. Nothing spectacular, woo-hoo, yada-yada. So we get to her house. She is getting off work and won't be there for a while. Okay, thats fine. Woo-hoo, waiting. I figured that this girl is going to be like the rest i've ever met and just ignore me most of the time. she gets there and we leave to go back to sarah's so that we can just walk to it from there.
We walk and talk and what amazed me the most is that, well yeah for starters she was talking to me, but the fact we had things in common. As I look back on previous woman I've dated we really didn't and that was my fault in a way. Blinded by beauty. But anyway we talk, etc., etc.
That's when the night gets interesting. We go eat and we start talking more, poor Sarah - she was forgotten!, but it was clear we couldn't stop talking believe it or not! Well we didn't like the rides that turn you upside down or the like, so Sarah went on those. So Anne and I go on the Ferris Wheel, the tea cup ride, and a ferris wheel like one but it looks like you are in a cup type thing , and these racing cars that go around and you get squashed as it flys. I don't know how to explain it. But at one point the cup type one started freaking me out from the speed, nothing like I'm crying or shouting but just that my nails were making indents in the metal bar, so she grabs my left hand and holds it, out of the blue, knowing what is going on. That was so cool of her.
So later on we get on that car racing ride and it starts, she just slammed into me and stayed there, not trying to move away. Now it was my turn because this ride was freaking her out a little. All I can say was it was just amazing.
We got off the ride and Sarah wanted to leave. She was tired and needed rest. So we left to go back to her house. We hung out there for an hour, had sprite, and watched t.v. Sarah decided she'd better get us home because she didn't feel safe driving when she is tired. So she took us to Anne's house first. By the time we arrived we saw that Sarah was really tired and needed to get back home. So Anne, making my day, told Sarah that her father could give me a ride home and that Sarah should go home. Sarah agreed and left. Anne said let's go inside and tell her dad. Her dad was eating so he didn't want to go right then and she said "Lets go watch a movie." We ended up watching office space on DVD and instead of watching the movie we talked more! How on earth I know people might be asking but it's true.
Next thing I know I've spent over three hours there with her, the movie finishing long before and neither one of us actually noticing or caring. Finally I'm noticing that it's like 10:30 at night and needed to get home. I had to get going. And it saddened both of us! We hated parting! It was amazing. ( I know I keep saying that. I'm sorry.)
So her father and Anne drives me home. We talk the whole way to my house. We get there and we say our good-byes and she gives me her phone number, email, and aim address, with instructions to call her any time.
I was so happy. I walked in, had to get some stuff and I finally got on AIM where my friend JDooty was on. He wasn't too happy. He had had a bad day and pretty much summed it up with what he wrote above. That kind of knocked me back to reality. I felt bad and depressed. I finally understood where he was coming from and wrote him to help him feel better. It is best to let him think it over and then talk to him. How many times he and I have gotten in arguments to only think about them later and realize how childish they were. I'm going to give him time and we'll talk about it again soon.
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well. Here's to the nights we felt alive. Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry. Here's to goodbye. Tomorrow's gonna come too soon.