yes, a strange day. It started in a sense of netherworldlyness because of lack of sleep.Then the day continued with lots and lots of work, and a really horrendous head ache, possibly caused by hayfever, but again, maybe lack of sleep or a melange of the two....

Anyway, arranged to pick up Haje at 5, after work, we went to the shops to pick up some food a mild alcoholic beverage...well its the Jubilee weekend and England play Sweden on Sunday for God's sake...or something. I was in a good mood...four days off work...say no more.

Key in the lock..."it doesn't work"...."what do you mean"..."i don't know, you try it, it won't turn".


"OK, locksmith, seems a good idea"..."yeh, ok, just let me check the back gate"....


The gate is open. That's what he said. The Back Door Is Wide Open....he said this too...

The lock on the gate has been torn off. And the back door is lying casually open. My Cats are OK. This is a good thing. I am amazed that these "housebound kitties" haven't tried to escape, but no, they are just scared. A little reticent to greet me....I can understand this...

Stuff everywhere.

A mess.

I feel so vulnerable. And I always felt so safe here. I used to live in Toxteth for God's sake. This is the "posh" part of town, or so I thought.

"Will they come back again?"

Haje reassures me that they won't, and so does the policeman that evntually visits with his silver powder and his brush...fingerprints, or gloveprints.

"Don't give up hope, we often find stuff a month or so later on".

But they have rooted through my "things". The mess I hold sacred has been ravaged violently and scarifying traces of the criminals remain.

I miss my Mp3s that were on my PC.

But, I so wish that they hadn't taken Hajes camera. This is not materialism. The camera blends into him, it becomes him...and its gone. This is the most cruel thing.

They do not think about the person or people that live there...the crutch in the corner, the work stored on those discs....they just suck it all in, without emotion.

I feel sick, I really do. I am just so glad not to be alone.