For the entire duration of my secondary school years, I had to go to PSE lessons (Personal and Social Education). Every year, we covered the same things: sex, drugs, and... no, actually that was it. The sex education became more risqué as time went by, giving it a bit of variety, but the drugs education was the same, year upon year.

For some reason, I tended to listen in these classes, and actually read the leaflets we were bombarded with. Perhaps I had a growing interest in sexual deviancy and drug use, who knows. This made the repeated drugs education very boring.

Then, one day in the fourth year, the lesson was a bit different: there was a guest present, a man from the schools/police liaison unit. He was here to teach us about drugs, show us samples, etc. Same meat, different gravy. For one part of the talk, he had three buckets labelled Class A, Class B and Class C*, and racquetballs with drug names written on in felt pen. The man would hold up a ball, and ask the class which bucket to put it in.

I was bored. I was young. I was arrogant. I decided to be a bit of a smartarse, and basically whipped off all the answers for each ball as soon as he held it up.

Man: "Okay, what about 'Speed'?"
Me: "Chemical name Amphetamine Sulphate. Class B if ingested or inhaled, Class A if injected intravenously."

Anyway, this reduced the length of the drug talk down to about 15 minutes, and we all left early.

On the following Monday, I was asked to go to the Head Of Year's office during registration. I didn't know why, and was a bit worried, as HOY's deal with punishment as well as pastoral care. I came in, and she asked me to sit down. The conversation went something like this:

HOY: "The police liason officer who conducted your PSE lesson last Friday came to see me, after the lesson ended. He was very concerned about how much you knew about drugs. Is there anything you'd like to tell me?"
Me: "What?"
HOY: "He wondered where you got that information... he was worried you might be mixed up in some bad things."
Me: "Jesus Christ! You've been teaching us all this stuff for four years! I actually listen, and I practically get accused of being a junkie."

The interview was rapidly curtailed, and I was set free unto the school with a new tale of management incompetence. With hindsight, I realise she was only doing the standard back-covering exercise that schools have to (see this node), but it still seemed damn stupid at the time.

*The UK drug classification system. Class A drugs are very illegal, Class B drugs are just illegal, Class C drugs are legal, unless obtained through false prescription.