Kermit the Frog
is a priest
and drives one of the new beetles
. A yellow
He pulls up beside me and tells me to get in. I do. I know this hasn't happened to me before. I've never hung out with Kermit before, let alone ridden shot gun in his yellow beetle. I didn't even know he was a priest, but his clothing, by which I mean his collar, makes it obvious. Nevertheless, as if this were a Tarantino flick, I take these extremely unusual and exciting events totally in stride. As if, although I'd never met Father Kermit before, Fozzie Bear and I used to get shitfaced back a few years ago.
Father Kermit takes off down the street. The good Father is a little depressed. It seems the state of the world and recent events have even Holy Servents as devoted as he questioning their faith.
"A faith unquestioned..." I start, but let it trail because I've forgotten the rest of the quote.
Father Kermit is an utterly normal person. He has doubts and fears and hopes and dreams and sometimes questions his choice to take up the cloth. The Kermit the Frog of my memory always seemed like some sort of superheroic leader, able to solve bitter disputes with a single speech of brotherhood and unity. Perhaps this is what lead him to the Priesthood in the first place.
He takes me to his "house," which is actually a parish, connected to the church he serves. This makes it look like a complex of some sort. The complex is on the side of a steep hill, covered in tall pine trees. It looks like a nice place. His seems to be built a little like a ranch house, almost entirely one level. In some parts, the bottom of the parish is supported by giant wooden columns, so if there is a basement that goes into the hill, it is probably pretty small compared to the main floor.
Father Kermit shifts his yellow beetle into park, and gets out. Implicitly, I know to get out too. Father Kermit wants to show me something, I think. We enter his house. It's nice. Smells like pine. Looks kind of like a lodge in the north woods, right down to the giant stone fireplace.
I never got to find out what it was that Father Kermit knew.