A hilarious children's book by
Louis Sachar. He writes about the students at
Wayside School, a thirty-story elementary school, and their odd behavior. The chapters (which are individual stories) of this book and their summaries:
1. A Package for Mrs. Jewls - Louis (the yard teacher) delivers a large and heavy package all the way up the thirty stories to Mrs. Jewls' classroom. He watches her unpack the box and sees that it is a computer. She tells Louis that the computer will help the students learn, and he sets it up on the desk. She pushs it out the window and it plummets to the ground, several hundred feet below. This is gravity.
2. Mark Miller - A new student named Benjamin Nushmutt, from Hempleton, joins the class. Mrs. Jewls is under the impression that his name is Mark Miller and that he has moved here from Magadonia. While he hesitates upon her calling him Mark, he just complies passively and grows used to it.
3. Bebe's Baby Brother - Bebe writes insulting comments towards Mrs. Jewls on the back of her homework and blames it on her baby brother, who doesn't even exist, Ray. To teach Ray a lesson, Mrs. Jewls gives Bebe an A+ and a Tootsie Roll pop.
4. Homework - Mac shares a story about the time he lost his sock in the refrigerator. He tells a new story in every subject and because he takes up all class time, Mrs. Jewls has to assign homework. No one understands why.
5. Another Story About Socks - Sharie brings in a hobo for show-and-tell. When asked why he doesn't wear socks, he tells everyone that Albert Einstein didn't wear socks. Everyone in the class takes their socks off right before a test.
6. Pigtails - While enamoured by Leslie's pigtails, Paul falls out the window and is hanging by a brick 30 floors above the ground. He has to grab Leslie's pigtails to be saved.
7. Freedom - Myron observes a bird outside the window, and thinks about how his desk is like a cage, and how the bird must see him in his desk and think that he is caged, and the bird is free. So one day, he walks down into the basement where he is discovered by bald men with attaché cases, asking him whether he would like freedom or safety. He chooses freedom, but ends up going back to class.
8. The Best Part - Todd brings in a plastic toy dog that woos Mrs. Jewls and keeps him out of trouble. He keeps trying to show everyone "the best part" but something always happens before he can. Joy grows jealous of Todd and decides to steal it. As she is, and Todd is at the blackboard, the toy dog bites Joy.
9. Mush - Ron eats Mrs. Mush's Mushroom Surprise. No one except for Louis has ever tried it before, and everyone wants to know what the surprise is. It turns out that it makes you fall in love with the first person you see.. and then kiss them. So as he is eating a bite.. Mrs. Jewls approaches him...
10. Music - Benjamin Nushmutt decides to tell everyone his real name during music class, but no one hears him.
11. Kathy and D.J. - D.J. is sad because he has lost his watch. Kathy tries to make him feel worse, only somehow she makes him feel better.
12. Pencils - Jason keeps on chewing on other people's pencils, so Mrs. Jewls tapes his mouth shut.
13. A Gigglebox, a Leaky Faucet, and a Foghorn - Dana laughs and cries inappropriately during the telling of stories, and John makes fun of her. When Mrs. Jewls tells her that she loves stories, after Dana went off on a tangent about how she hates them, she fears that she may love John as well then.
14. Calvin's Big Decision - Calvin gets to get a tattoo for his birthday and has to decide what and where. He ends up getting a tattoo of a potato on his ankle.
15. She's Back! - Deedee thinks she sees Mrs. Gorf, her old evil teacher, while hanging from the monkey bars.
16. Love and a Dead Rat - Dameon is in love with Mrs. Jewls and places a dead rat in her desk.
17. What? - This story is written backwards (well the order of paragraphs are at least). Jenny vomits and it was purple. She takes off her motorcycle helmet. She gets on her father's motorcycle. She misses the bus. She drinks her prune juice.
18. The Substitute - Benjamin Nushmutt decides he will tell Mrs. Jewls his name today, but there is a substitute. When she asks him what his name is, he says Benjamin (not Mark, as he has been called). Everyone thinks he is joking, and they tell the teacher that their names are Benjamin too. When the substitute teacher is leaving, she tells them that her name is Benjamin.
19. A Bad Case of the Sillies - Allison somehow gets warped into some parallel world where she winds up in the non-existent class of Mrs. Zarves on the 19th floor.
19. A Wonderful Teacher - Allison is still on the 19th floor and she meets Ray Gunn (Bebe's non-existent brother), two other students, and Mark Miller who everyone calls Ben, despite that his name is Mark Miller. She also has to alphabetize all the numbers from 0 to 1,000,000. She says, "Well at least I know zero is last."
19. Forever Is Never - Allison finds a way out of the 19th floor.
20, 21, & 22. Eric, Eric, and Eric - Mr. Kidswatter, the principal, calls Eric into his office, though there are 3 Erics. So Mrs. Jewls sends each Eric in one by one. He indirectly accuses each boy of writing an insulting comment about him at a barber shop. It says: "Mr. Kidswatter is a mugworm griblick."
23. Teeth - Rondi grows in her two front teeth and is upset about this. She asks Terrence to punch her, but decides to keep her teeth.
24. Another Story About Potatoes - Joe orders Potato Salad for lunch and forms a face out of it that looks like Mrs. Gorf.
25. A Story That Isn't About Socks - Stephan comes into class for picture day wearing an expensive tuxedo. He keeps emphasizing how you have to wear expensive clothes to look important. Someone says that it's not what's on the outside that counts, but what's underneath. Mrs. Jewls agreed. "Yes, you have to wear expensive underpants."
26. The Mean Mean Mrs. Jewls - Mrs. Jewls sends herself home early on the kindegarten bus for being mean.
27. Lost and Found - Joy steals Maurecia's lunch, and while searching for her lunch, Maurecia finds a paper bag full of money. The owner shows up and as a reward, gives her free ice cream for life. He gives Joy a pencil.
28. Valooosh! - The students take a dance class and learn how to tango. Everyone except for Myron goes. Everyone thinks that Myron blackmailed Mrs. Jewls because she got drunk and was dancing on her desk with a lampshade on her head and Myron took a picture.
29. The Lost Ear - Benjamin Nushmutt finally tells everyone his name and then Mark Miller (the real one) is freed from Mrs. Zarves' class.
30. Wayside School is Falling Down - Cows get stuck on the roof.