I had my braces removed today and I thought I'd share this account. So I have had my braces since I was 10 years old, and I'm turning 16 next week. So you know I've had these braces for quite some time now, and it was really worth the wait. I went in around 9 this morning and was sitting in the chair as many sharp objects were laid before me. "This here is the pyrriah stick in case your teeth crumble on removal!" (okay, she didn't really say that, but that's what I heard). I was nervous, so much that I had to use the bathroom 3 times in 30 minutes. So she returns with about 7 pairs of pliars, red paste, and a balloon reading, "Congratulation! We're ripping metal from your teeth!"

Most of the brackets being removed couldn't even be felt. Until she got to my canines. "This may hurt a little." "THIS MAY FEEL LIKE I'M RIPPING YOUR KIDNEYS OUT!" Pain seared in my mouth. I jerked around violently in convulsions. Okay, that was over. She then moves on to molars. "This may smell and taste really bad, so I wouldn't move my tongue if I were you." I moved my tongue. EW. It tasted like every single item of food I have ate since I was 10 years old! I run to the bathroom and brush my teeth thoroughly, lots of blood everywhere. My gums are pretty swollen up for one reason or another. I'm grossed out by this. I have fairly clean teeth, I'll tell you, so this was weird. I look back up at my teeth. Perfect. 100% straight. Flawless. Nice and pearly white. Only one problem. A stain. Right there on my canine tooth. I was going into conniptions right there. So I go back to the chair and wait for more torture. This is when things get weird. The orthodontist brings out this circular saw blade and starts ripping it against my teeth. It smelled like burning teeth. It removed the small stain on my tooth. They were amzed by this. It sounded like a Mop Glo infommercial.. "WOW! The stain is gone!!!" After gagging me with silly putty, they took me to the back room where they put spatula-like flaps in my mouth and took pictures of my teeth. Now I know where they get the pictures for those little "What happens if you don't brush your teeth" pamphlets. I go back to the original chair and they want to take one last picture of me before I leave for their O Happy Day debandings picture board. I refuse to take part of this. I say, "Seeya!" and hit the road.

I go to school. A boy picks me up and dangles me upside-down in front of a boy I like. My day comes to an end. The end.