Submitted for your approval (or not)

Thought of the moment

Why do I feel the need to justify myself to others? Why do I want their approval? It's an age old question. One I have tossed about for years.

On one level it seems silly to me. Not everyone is going to like what I like, what I say, what I do or who I am. I don't ask anyone to agree with me, only to see all sides of an idea. So why am I writing out on this plane justifying my existence to a bunch of strangers who will either upvote me or downvote me? Why open myself to this scrutiny of my ideas? Do I like being judged?

Because on another level, I want to be accepted. I want to belong. I want to be on the inside, instead of the outside looking in. I want the proverbial pat on the back. Curses! I thought I had left that need by the roadside!

Funny thing is... I was on the inside. While there, I learned that it isn't all it's cracked up to be. To be on the inside, is to wear a mask. It's to cover who you are in order to fit in with the majority. I was discontented with my mask, so I tossed it off. I needed to be true to myself.

Which is more important: the belonging to the group or the belonging to the self? Is there a way to merge the two?