I am venting once again...

I haven't started studying for my biology final on wednesday, I really should considering it's 75% of my grade, but I just can't seem to concentrate. It seems like everything bad is happening to me during this week, these few days. Of course I know many many people out there have it much worse off than I do, but that doesn't make ME feel any better because I still feel crappy. Loneliness is definitely getting to me. As in my last daynode I vented about the two people I'm losing, the most important people. Nothing has changed, nothing is being resolved (in fact, I think it's gettin worse). I have never regretted decisions from the past because I made them considering the hurt that will be caused and if I am being fair to everybody. I tried to cause the least amount of hurt and to be most fair to everyone who would be affected by my decisions. Somehow all this is backfiring. Am I doing everything wrong??? Why are my decisions coming back to haunt me when I have spent so much time trying to make good ones. I always put others feelings before me and yet why are they hurting me now? I tell him to move on because I don't want him to linger on with me, someone who can't be with him anymore. I tell him I like someone else (which I do, but obviously there's no chance of me being with that someone else anyways), so he WILL move on and so he doens't get hurt later. So why is he being so cold all of a sudden? Why does his attitude change? Is this all part of the "moving on" process? I am but only a girl, I need to be cared for, to be loved, to be supported as much as the next girl. So why does life hate me so? Why must I always lose the ones that matter when I need them the most? I try to act strong, tough on the outside, but I'm oh so weak on the inside. How can I live like this? People tell me I should just forget all this and just move on?? How can I forget if I am constantly feeling pain inside? Move on to what?? Alrights, I think I'm done venting now...

Good Bye and Have a nice day.