I went up to New Hampshire recently. I think it's a lonely place sometimes; when you're used to suburban life even a hundred yards of distance seems like a lot. It's very quiet.
So I was feeling lonely up in New Hampshire, though there were hundreds of people close by. I was near a frozen lake, so I walked out onto the lake - I could hear my own footsteps. It was cold, but the sun was just breaking through the clouds, so New Hampshire thawed a bit. I could see small children running around the lake, while some teenagers lay on their backs and presumably talked - I was too far away to tell.
Somehow it feels better feeling lonely when you really are alone. I stood in the middle of the lake and thought. I thought about my lack of a girlfriend, my lack of friends. I blamed myself. I think I was hoping for some catharsis or something - I'm not sure whether I was simply believing in the notion of a good cry or I had seen too many movies. I looked at the mountains far off in the distance; purple giants with rings of gray hair. I saw the heat of my breath condense into white clouds. Puff..puff...puff...It was beautiful; and I thought to myself,
"The moment of epiphany, wherein the incredible beauty of the environment will comfort my aching soul!"
I felt like a fool as I stood there, waiting but not receiving. I felt like I had stepped on the proverbial flaming bag of poo.
So I wandered back to my cabin, and the crest of my emotion was slowly absorbed back into myself. I cooled down...I still felt lonely, but not so much. I found a group of my friends, and we talked.