Building on DorkvsMaximvs' foundation...

Yes, on the east side of Santa Barbara, California, about a mile or a mile and a half up Milpas Street from East Beach, lies Super-Rica, favorite Mexican food eatery of many locals. You can eat lunch or dinner between 11 in the morning and 9 at night Sunday through Thursday, and until 9:30 Friday and Saturday. Don't bother wondering if you'll be able to park in the miniscule 4-car parking lot; there's probably not even any space on the cross street, Alphonse (sometimes not wide enough for two cars to pass each other).

When you do finally get there, there's a good chance you'll have to wait in line, sometimes 10 to 15 people long, extending out the door and down the sidewalk. When you're able to step over the threshold, you'll be in sight of the chalkboard displaying the menu, and you'll be the second or third person from the order window.

It's your turn now? Place your order with the smiling cashier in your choice of English or Spanish. Whichever you choose, your order number will eventually be called out in that same language by the man at the pickup window. All items are a la carte, ranging in price from US$2 to US$5; I usually find one sufficient but most people probably get two or even three. On the bebida front, you might want to rethink your instinct to go for a Corona, Tecate, Pacifico, or Coke, which you can get anywhere; if you like horchata at all, I have it on good authority that you won't find any better. Pull out that big wad of efectivo from your pocket; your credit cards will not help you here.

Now make your way out to the wood-floor patio at the side of the building, and choose one of the plexiglass-covered picnic tables scattered upon it. Don't venture too far if you're tall; the canvas canopy forming a nine foot ceiling slopes down to a scant five feet by the time it reaches the far wall (forcing the ficus trees on that side to be permanently hunched over).

When you hear your number announced (remember to listen for it in Spanish if you placed your order that way), proceed to the pickup window where you'll find plastic utensils to the right and several kinds of salsa to your left.

The food for you and your companions will probably look quite similar. A five-inch paper plate covered with a mess o' meat, grilled vegetables, and maybe cheese. Hidden underneath that there are likely three three-inch corn tortillas. You might get a cup of beans on the side.

The major exception to this rule is if you go for either the queso de cazuela, tocino especiál, or chorizo especiál. These are cups containing a big, stark blob of melted cheese. The first has tomato sauce, but who ya kiddin'? You didn't order that for your health, so get it with bacon (tocino) or sausage (chorizo) and listen to the apprehensive squeals emanating from your arteries.

When you're ready to go, try to push your plates, forks, etc. into the trash cans, which may be overflowing, and drop your bottles/cans into the recycling bin (if you didn't give the horchata a try).

Thanks for visiting Santa Barbara!