I'm worried about my mother.
She has always been a little bit different. As some of you may know, my relationship with her is strained. I love her, but I don't like her very much. Her treatment of me as a child was unhealthy, and even now that I'm an adult she'll occasionally put me down, disrespect my boundaries, and so on. Dealing with her is a struggle. That said, I'm willing to be the dutiful daughter and take care of her whenever her health fails. Her physical health is fine at the moment. Her cognitive health, however, is questionable.
I should mention she's had narcissistic traits for as long as I can remember. She's not mentally healthy, and I've accepted that she's not going to change. However, she has two newer habits that might indicate a different problem. I don't know if they are some weird evolution or extension of whatever she already has, or if they point to memory loss. Maybe someone who reads this will have some insight. If not, that's fine. I mostly need to get it off my chest.
Habit 1: Frequent repetition
This habit is more recent. My father has also noticed it and told me it started about a year ago. When I say repetition, I don't mean the regular kind that everyone does, like telling the same joke more than once to the same person. My mother will make the same statement, or tell the same story, within a 10-minute period. If my father or I tell her "you just said that," she'll say "I know, but I forgot to tell you this part." Nothing new is added to the story or anecdote. No new piece of information, observation, or personal opinion is voiced. It's like hearing a recorded message. This happens at least once a week. The weirdest part is that she shows no concern for herself. Does she see nothing wrong with saying the same thing over and over? Does she not believe us when we say she does it? Why is she acting that way? It could be memory problems, an increased need for attention, or something else I can't think of. I don't know. Whatever it is, it isn't normal.
Habit 2: Incoherent comments
I only recently noticed this habit, so I don't know if it's new or longstanding. I haven't worked up the nerve to ask anyone about it.
The only way I can explain is with an example:
My father: So we might have another install to do this week. I'm doing a quote for a new customer.
Me: Ok. I can't work on Monday. Any other day is fine, though.
My mother: *laughs*
Me: What?
My mother: Oh, it's just that I was talking to Julie today about the Zoom meeting on Monday. She wanted to do it for 2:00, but I want to do it at 3:00.
Me: . . . . . .
My father: . . . are you . . . saying that you can't help with the install on Monday? Because that's what we're talking about.
My mother: No. *babbles about Zoom meeting*
*long silence*
Me: . . . anyway, yeah I can't work on Monday because . . .
*conversation goes back to normal*
I don't know what to say about that, except that I don't understand it. It happens so regularly now that I can't ignore it anymore. I've decided to keep track of these incidents in my notebook. I need a better idea of how often they happen, in case I end up in a doctor's office answering questions about my mother. I really hope that I'm overreacting. My instincts are rarely wrong, though, so maybe it's a good thing I'm thinking about it.
Thanks for reading.