I'm a straight guy. My best friend is a gay guy. Just to kill some misconceptions perpetuated by many well-meaning persons, I offer a portrait of my gay best friend. He:
- Played football in high school, and didn't even partake in any homoerotic rituals in the locker room.
- Has terrible fashion sense.
- Hates "Sex and The City," "Will and Grace," and "Dawson's Creek."
- Enjoys watching James Bond on TBS.
- Never misses the World Series or the Super Bowl.
- Hates shopping for clothes, but loves shopping for gadgets from the Sharper Image catalogue.
- Goes to sports bars, rather than gay bars.
- Does not have a lisp, limp wrists, or a swagger in his step.
- Burps, scratches his crotch, and sometimes doesn't shave for days on end.
- Has had a boyfriend for three years straight (no pun intended).
- Has a messy apartment.
- Doesn't obsess about sex.
- Does not like Barbara Streisand.
- Defies stereotypes, but not on purpose.