One of the hardest things I have had to do today was imagine a subject to write about for E2. If this was one of the hardest things I had to do I’m sure YOU can imagine how difficult my work days really are.
There is quite a common problem in the writing industry, or so I gather. Something called ‘Writers block’ prevents people with imagination from ever becoming writers. On the other hand those who can over come writers block are truly those with talent.
However the task still remains,
What shall I write about?
Many subjects came to mind over a short period; Work, life, emo’s, cereal, chopsticks and the strange materials found in the boot of my car. None of these mundane and rather boring anomalies really interested my writing palate as much as I had first hoped for. Alas, not to be beaten by my own brain I set off on the quest for the perfect story.
First of all I had to determine what actually made the perfect stand up story. What makes a story dramatic? What makes a story romantic? Most importantly, what really makes a story sell?
With the power of google at my finger tips I began to exploit other works for ideas. The pure unadulterated force that is the internet began to work almost instantly. My first few clicks brought me to a guild of story tellers. A collection of human like beings populated this Usenet server. Not unlike humans at a physical level; they still ate, watched T.V. and still took long and pointless walks in the park. However these people. These people were a new breed of man. A dark and depressing sadness of man. A race of people that breathe binary, eat hexadecimal and wipe their arse with decimal. These were the super users.
‘The super users’ were a band of electronic story tellers that spanned the width and breadth of our planet. They fed on Information consuming any piece of literature in their grasp. I feared, at this point, that my travels had taken me to a place that was far beyond my own comprehension. After venturing further into the network, amazed by the graphic nature and brain-sick works, I realised that I was adrift in a sea of knowledge. Their sea.
International waters, anything goes.
I saught refuge in an out of the way discussion forum, believing it to be a tame and futile conversation about how important grass is to our universal karma, I knocked on the digital door with a click of my mouse.
My eyes screamed blood as my heart pounded riveting me to my seat. No man nor animal should be made to view the material before me. If I had been a god fearing man I am sure that the devil incarnate lay before me at that moment. Unspeakable suffering and torment lay in this forum and I dared not venture further. My quest for the perfect story could not continue there. But the search must go on…
I would write a full version but I didn't like the subject much and couldn't be bothered. If anyone likes it and wants to read the rest then send me a message.