The Trials and Tribulations of being an E-mail Technical Support Representative

BaronCarlos once thought that being a Tech Support Rep was a frustrating vocation. He spent hours a day answering the phone and listening to his customersmindless banter as he helped to solve their problems with the software they were using. Some of it was torturous, some of it was masterful, but overall, Carlos was unhappy.

But at least, Carlos was able to freely troubleshoot issues, regardless of the intelligence of the other individual on the phone.

As Baron Carlos advanced in rank and experience, and proved himself as an expert in various Internet related skills, the Management decided to have Carlos answer E-mail tech support cases.

And BaronCarlos fell deeper into the pits of Hell….

One would hypothesize that people who E-mail their issues to technical support would at least have the sense to understand that the more relevant information they could provide, the better the rep could solve their problem.

This is, by far, not the case.

If anything, most people who E-mail their problems are completely inept at understanding their own situation let alone have the Communication Skills to convey that information.

Now, BaronCarlos gets E-mail that reads:

    Cant log in

Never mind the fact that the entire message is one statement and that statement is grammatically incorrect, the worst part is that the message is a waste of time. There is nothing to glean from this message, and there is nothing the reader can do except to ask more questions as to why the user “cannot log in”.

And one user had the audacity to think that some genius of a tech rep could discern:

    bad error

It is important to note that there is no error message with the textBad Error”.
It is redundant to say that this was a complete waste of time, and not worthy of a reply, and Carlos should have ignored it. (he didn’t).

And this happens more often then not.

Then there are the messages that are longer, but explain even less:

    "Ever since this happened, I've been having problems."
Ever since WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT PROBLEMS? Was it a Stroke, or were you dropped on your head as a child?

Then there are the messages that have no coherent thought at all:

    "I am doing a subscription and not log in fine
    can't e-mail password not delivered. HELP!!!!!
    "

Or,

    "I can't access to my web site to manage and changing informations... Please,help"

Is it Carlos? Is this the way people communicate in e-mail?
Is Baron Carlos being a Moron?

And WHY do people abbreviate what they do not understand?

Then there are the AOL users.

    Every once in a while, Carlos gets a request that is written in ALL CAPS. Not just that, but PAGES of the stuff.

    Now, BaronCarlos understands the old AOL joke that AOL users can only type with the CAPS LOCK key on, but Carlos is STILL shocked that ALL the cases are AOL users.

    What is it about these people?
    BaronCarlos has never used America Online so he does not know the environment, he does know that it is the Macintosh of the Internet and that people who don’t know how to use a computer can use it.
    But does it make a user so inept that they cannot use the SHIFT Key?
    Is it a factor of laziness or of incompetence? Or just plain ignorance?

The bottom line is, after working this gig, BaronCarlos has serious concerns over the future of this nation.

Granted only a fraction of the population contacts technical support, but how come they are all morons?

    *Carlos shakes his head ruefully*

    This has been a Carlosian Public Service Announcement