Mister Aarons, I'm going to have to ask you to put down the ceremonial piece and discuss this rationally. I'm afraid neither of us are super-powered beings capable of resolving this through the force of Incan agricultural tools.
That kind of language is unacceptable in this office, Mister Aarons. May I remind you that office hours are a privilege, not a right.
Your last name is not Odinson. Please return the shovel to the display case: it is quite fragile.
I'm afraid we can no longer discuss your term paper, Mister Aarons. I will be submitting a score of zero. It is three weeks beyond the date I asked for your drafts, and this is sub-par work. Papers are to be written in the Queen's English, not runes you found on the Internet.
Mister Aarons, that is simply uncalled for. If you continue to exhibit threatening behavior, campus security will be called.
Your idea of justice, Mister Aarons, quite justifies your failing grade in philosophy. Please leave my office immediately.
I will remind you, Mister Aarons, that I am neither a tenured professor or Professor Malice, and my surname is Eville, not Evil.
Christ, the undergrads get worse every year.