Finally finished noding my play An American Book of the Dead - The Game Show after two and a half months, a labor of love and earnest archivism, if the slack voting it's been getting is any indication. I don't really mind though. I just like knowing it's out there, especially in these disturbed days, since the piece lays out what I love and hate most of about this country. I certainly understand most people taking a pass on clicking their way through two full riotous and bizarre acts of American history in game show form; for plays are meant to be seen not read, and if there are exceptions to this rule, this play is most certainly not one of them.

I wish I were writing something as ambitious now, but most of my time is soaked up looking after my 10 1/2 month boy, and what is left is committed to a couple of commissions that I'm pretty lukewarm about: one to write the book for a musical with existing music that is insipid at best, down right awful at worst; the other to write another science play funded by the Alfred P. Sloan Foundation, only the funding's been delayed for months "due to the market" and pessimist that I am, I have no trouble doubting it ever will materialize. So I'm left with deciding whether or not to really dig in to the prodigious research that writing another ambtious science script would require. As it is, during any free moments I can scrape together I can barely tear myself away from my newfound guilty pleasure, Patrick O' Brian's Master and Commander. This science play idea is topical, so I can't really afford to delay the research, but then if the money doesn't come through, do I write the play on spec? Doubtful.

In a prior day log I speculated about leaving off writing altogether. Ouroboros warned me off this tack, saying 'Every time I've "taken a break" from writing it gets more difficult to start again. Not writing is the bad habit, just like smoking or credit card usage.' I'm not sure this holds true in my case though, since I haven't stopped writing since I started somewhere back in the early 80's. It almost seems like writing is the bad habit, not the converse. But until I clear up these commissions, I won't be able to launch on the experiment of living without writing, dubious as it may be.

Damned if you do... damned if don't...

Damned nation.