Return to This is my roommate, Rachel (idea)

[Coffee, wine and Rachel|Part 1] - [Rachel in the morning|Part 2] - [Allaying Rachel's fears|Part 3] - [This is my roommate, Rachel|Part 4] - [Out with Rachel|Part 5] - [Rachel at Christmas|Part 6] - [Kissing Rachel goodbye|Part 7]

Rachel lies back on the [pillow]s, her [hair] [spread] out like a halo around her head. I lean on my [elbow] above her and bring my other hand down to [caress] her [breast].

Her breasts are [a constant source of wonder] to me, how they are so full and rounded against the slimness of the rest of her, their [graduation] from creamy whiteness to the deep [rose] pink of the [nipple], and the way the nipple itself [crinkle]s and hardens to my touch.

"Bel..." she murmurs.

But [I do not want to talk|I don't want to talk]. I drop my head and kiss and lick the nipple that I've been teasing into my mouth. She arches, strokes my head, gives a little [mewling] sound, and words [cease].

She has a whole [range] of sounds when we make love, all [incoherent] and [wordless], and now, after four weeks, I think I know them all; from the [tiny] whimpering she makes at the first sign of [arousal], through sharp gasps, and shuddering [sigh]s, to her keening cry of [ecstasy] and [release].

As my [hand] slides smoothly over her skin, tracing the [taper]ing of her waist and the [flare] of her [hip], her legs part slightly and she shifts a little, lifting her hips from the bed. It's [obvious] what she wants, and I am only too happy to [oblige], slipping my fingers easily into the [moist] heat of her.

She has shown me where and how to touch her, and my fingers unerringly find the spot, [flicker]ing over it, gently at first, but soon I [press] and [rub] harder, loving the way she moves under my hands, first just [squirm]ing but eventually [thrash]ing around wildly, and I love the way the sounds she make build to the same [crescendo] as her movements. I keep her at a peak a few moments longer than I should, just to watch her and listen to her, just because I can, before letting her down gently.

As I say, she has been here for four weeks.

Sometimes we go out, walk on the [beach], watch the [sunset], eat at a quiet [restaurant] or drink at a bar. But mostly we stay in and [fuck].

This is partly just the [euphoria] of a new relationship, partly because we don't seem able to get enough of each other yet, but it's more than that.

Rachel is [demonstrative]. She likes to [touch] me. Most of the time, she isn';t even aware she is doing it -- reaching out for me, brushing a stray lock of hair back behind my ear, running a finger along my arm, or laying her hand on mine. At [home], I like it -- more than like it. The [tender] touches that were so lacking in my [marriage] [delight] me. But, when we are out, I suffer agonies of [embarrassment].

We will be in a bar, perhaps, and she will catch my hand, stroking over the back of the fingers with her thumb. Some guy will be there with his mates, [nudge] one of them, [point] and [whisper] a comment. There will be a [laugh], a [buzz] of chat, and I know they are picturing us naked and writhing. Occasionally, if we have to pass them on the way out, there will be a low sexual groan, or a [salacious] comment, and it's as if what we have together has stopped being [beautiful] and become [porn]. I blush, every time, but Rachel doesn't. Maybe she is used to it.

I never take her anywhere I might see someone I know. I'm not ready to be 'out'. When she touches me in public, it is all I can do not to [flinch] or snatch my hand away. I don't do it, but she senses the [impulse]. She makes a real [effort] to [stifle] her [affection]. It makes both of us slightly [tense].

So generally, we just stay in like this.

I [gather] her against me and kiss her, holding her close. She lies with her head [nestle]d into my shoulder, one arm and one [leg] across my body, and kisses my [collar]-bone.

"Bel" she says again, her voice [hesitant].

"Uh-huh?" I [stroke] her [face].

"I'm taking the day off tomorrow. I really have to find somewhere [permanent] to live."

I [stiffen].

"Why? Is there a [problem] being here? What's the [rush]?" Don't you want to be with me? I think.

"I've been here for a month, love. You barely see your friends. When they call, you say you 'have a [friend] staying' and can't go out."

"I don't want to go out with them. I'd much rather be here with you."

"I know, but you can't [put your life on hold] forever. I think it would be better if I found [a place of my own]."

My hands tighten on her. I want to [cry].

"Rachel, [I don't want you to leave]. I don't want to go back to living alone. Knowing you're here is what gets me through the day sometimes. Please, don't go." Don't leave me. Please, don't leave me.

"Then let me stop being a [guest]. Let me unpack my [stuff], pay [rent] and bills. I haven't bought anything since I got here, other than a few groceries, and I'm pretty sure I get paid more than you do."

I'm ready to do almost anything to keep her with me. I [nod] emphatically. "I don't care what you [pay], or what you don't," I say, "but if it will make you happier, we’ll sort out a split."

"We can say you are my [roommate]," I go on, without thinking.

So [stupid]. That isn't what she wants at all, I know. I've [hurt] her. I [wish] I could unsay it, but I can't, and anyway, it's the [explanation] I'll give to [people], I just shouldn't have said it so quite so baldly, and I certainly shouldn't have said it right now. It didn't need to be said.

She'll say [no], she'll go.

But she doesn't.

She sags, [defeat]ed, against me. "If that's what you [want]."

I turn up her head, my hand under her [chin] and [kiss] her as deeply and passionately as I can. I want her to [know] how much she means to me.

Her eyes are [bright] with unshed tears. She [blink]s them away.

"[I love you] Bel, you know that, don't you?" she says, "I'm not sure I could leave, not really."

Thank all the gods!

[ Coffee, wine and Rachel|Part 1] - [Rachel in the morning|Part 2] - [Allaying Rachel's fears|Part 3] - [This is my roommate, Rachel|Part 4] - [Out with Rachel|Part 5] - [Rachel at Christmas|Part 6] - [Kissing Rachel goodbye|Part 7]