Some days at work, the only thing I can do is hide from my boss and bitch about the day in a small notebook, destroying the evidence instantly by shredding, or flushing. I wonder how many of us come to the restroom to sleep, or write or masturbate, or some other non-company endorsed activity. It seems like it could be a large percentage. I mean, my boss told me a while back about this employee that he caught sleeping in the men's room in the maintenance building. The reason for sleeping? He didn't want to be caught at work stoned after spending part of his lunch hour off in the woods behind the property.

So it can't just be me, right?

Anyway, my boss can't follow me into the ladies' room.

Sometimes we wait each other out, the other ladies and I. Usually I will blow my nose or crinkle some toilet paper to make myself sound legit, but the seasoned dawdlers will just sit in silence and wait. I don't want them to hear my pen, so I move along.