Most people talk about how some
god must
have it in for them at some time or other. It's
natural to wish to blame some unfortunate occurance or string of such upon some
supernatural agency.
But for me, I know that a god has taken a dislike to me. Specifically, it is an E2 god.
I have been a regular visitor to E2 for about 9 weeks, if you don't count the 5 weeks I wasn't here, and it has been noted more than once that I spend a lot of time in the Chatterbox. A couple people have jokingly mentioned that my being on at nearly all hours is throwing off their sense of time.
The ever-helpful dannye has let me know that it is likely due to my talkative nature. I like to talk. I like to talk a lot. Someone has decided that I like to talk too much. Someone with the power to do something about it has decided that I need to be shut up on a fairly regular basis.
I have been borged about seven separate times since coming to E2. The first time, I asked for it, almost literally. I expected it and took it fully aware of my "transgression." But on the last four occaisions of my borging, I received no warning, no reasoning and can only attribute to the fact that someone dislikes me personally.
The first of the three was upon my third submission to the Chatterbox in the ten minutes I had been online. The first comment was that I was there, the second a 'hello' to someone, and the third was, "/me hugs dem bones." The borging came a couple of minutes later. Someone asked what I'd been borged for but otherwise, it went unremarked. The second borging came about ten minutes later after I submitted, "/me hugs Gritchka." I was not so surprised this time, having surmised from the first event that someone perhaps didn't care for me. Another chatterer inquired as to what I had done to deserve borging and was, themselves, borged, which I consider much more offensive than my own borging as all they did was ask a question. Is it being impertinent when you want to know why something has occurred?
The third borging was unexpected. I had been trading messages with Rancid_Pickle and managed to type /mgs, which then sends the message as public. While I think it's a bit harsh to borg someone for a typo, I have seen this done to several others, so this is unlikely to be anything personal.
The final borging came after I declared that to my joy I would be going to the Ohio shindig. Yet again, I was borged. It was on this occasion that dannye was kind enough to let me know what he thought to be the reason for my many recent borgings. I will have to accept what he has told me as the person responsible has remained completely silent, offering no comment from which I can learn. Again, several other chatterers were confused by my being borged as they could see no reason for it. While borged, I wrote the writeup covering my intention to go to Ohio.
I acknowledge that I talk too much. I always have and while I try to temper that part of my personality, it is still a problem. But, upon reflection, I realize that I'm not even remotely the most talkative person in the Chatterbox. There are several others who can easily outtalk me on any given day. The only difference I can find is that I have only been an E2 user since the last week of January, making me a relative newbie, while the others in question have been her much longer and that I am online a higher percentage of the day.
Since it has been made clear to me that someone in power does not appreciate my presence in the Chatterbox, I have chosen to withdraw for a time. This is unfortunate, for the site as well as for me, as at least 10% of my writeups have come from comments, questions and discussions in the Chatterbox (not including any of my daylogs, which are mostly about my borgins). Specifically, there was no information about the long division symbol before jessicapierce asked about what it was called in the Chatterbox. Also, the history of Daylight Saving Time was also un-noded.
I spent time in the Chatterbox for inspiration as much as to chatter. Now I will have to look elsewhere. One might suggest that I just watch what is said and keep silent. I thought of that option and even tried it, just reading what was going on and only offering comments via private message. This worked for a short time, but seeing the conversations and knowing that if I participated in them would likely get me borged was upsetting. Normally, I am proof against most attacks, letting them slide like water from my back. But when I am persecuted (I can think of no better way to describe these events) and am given no opportunity or option, I tend to take it hard. Normally, I am difficult to bully, but when my tormentor comes from a position where I can neither strike back nor even know from whence the attacks come, I am undone. Merely considering the events which have driven me from the Chatterbox is upsetting, and since they are obviously (to me) personal, it makes me cry. So, until such time as I feel things have changed I will not participate in the Chatterbox events.
One of the gods frowns upon me, and I have felt his wrath.