I've been having this recurring dream for awhile. In the dream, the situation is scary. When I wake up, it's goofy as hell.

Satan keeps moving my car.

Not stealing it or blowing it up or making it a gateway to hell or anything. Just, moving it. And for some reason, in the dream, I know he's the one doing it.

So this dream was a little different. I was a priest, and I'm inside a church and I come outside to find that my S-10 is not where I parked it.

(Also, a component of these dreams is that I never realize I'm having the Satan dream until I can't find my car)

So I'm looking, off the front steps of this church (which for some reason resembles an old general store or a central Texas beer barn), and suddenly the pay phone on the wall rings. I pick it up and say "Hello?" rather calmly, since I already know who it is.

(Oh yeah, also, in my dreams Satan has the voice of Robert Goulet)

"Josh, isn't this funny? Wait, you'll love this one, you just saw this movie!"

And then Satan does a perfect impression of the angry voice screaming at the priest to get out of the house in the film The Amityville Horror.

I'm pissed. I can now see my truck on the roof of the old brownstone across the street. I start saying "HA HA HA, VERY FUNNY MOTHERFUCKER".

I wake up, laughing.