I'm in a grocery cart, being wheeled around by Adam Duritz. He's humming Private Archipelago.

He buys a shrimp cocktail party platter.

He KNOWS I'm allergic to shellfish.

I jump out and land in the chair I'm sitting in now. I hear my cat, from the bathroom.

I walk into the bathroom, and I realize that the cat has taken the nastiest shit possible for a 6 month old cat. It makes me want to stab myself in the face.

Adam shows up, shrimp in hand, to make amends.

I lock his melodramatic ass in the bathroom with the stench that could singe the nosehairs off a dead nun.