Thou shall not jump onto the
keyboard when thy human is on the modem.
Thou shall not pull the phone cord out of the back of the
modem.
Thou shall not unroll all of the
toilet paper off the roll.
Thou shall not sit in front of the television or
monitor as thou are
transparent.
Thou shall not projectile
vomit from the top of the refrigerator.
Thou shall not walk in on a dinner party and commence
licking thy
butt.
Thou shall not lie down with thy butt in thy
human's face.
Thou shall not leap from great heights onto thy human's
genital region.
Fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed
doors.
Thou shall not reset thy human's
alarm clock by walking on it.
Thou shall not climb on the
garbage can with the hinged lid, as thee will fall in and trap thyself.
Thou shall not jump onto the
toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.
Thou shall not jump onto thy sleeping human's
bladder at 4 a.m.
Thou shall realize that the house is not a
prison from which to escape at any
opportunity.
Thou shall not
trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow.
Thou shall not push open the
bathroom door when there are
guests in thy house.
Thou shall remember that thou are a
carnivore, houseplants are not
meat.
Thou shall show remorse when being
scolded.
Received by e-mail. Author unknown.