Thou shall not jump onto the keyboard
when thy human is on the modem.
Thou shall not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem
Thou shall not unroll all of the toilet paper
off the roll.
Thou shall not sit in front of the television or monitor
as thou are transparent
Thou shall not projectile vomit
from the top of the refrigerator.
Thou shall not walk in on a dinner party and commence lick
ing thy butt
Thou shall not lie down with thy butt in thy human
Thou shall not leap from great heights onto thy human's genital region
Fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed doors
Thou shall not reset thy human's alarm clock
by walking on it.
Thou shall not climb on the garbage can
with the hinged lid, as thee will fall in and trap thyself.
Thou shall not jump onto the toilet seat
just as thy human is sitting down.
Thou shall not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder
at 4 a.m.
Thou shall realize that the house is not a prison
from which to escape at any opportunity
Thou shall not trip
thy humans even if they are walking too slow.
Thou shall not push open the bathroom
door when there are guest
s in thy house.
Thou shall remember that thou are a carnivore
, houseplants are not meat
Thou shall show remorse when being scold
Received by e-mail. Author unknown.