Dick in my Hand

Mick was an alcoholic and a drug addict of sorts and one of the more beautiful people it is possible for a person to meet. Isn't it always the way. He is dead 8 years now, he was 22.

When the body dies, what is left is a shell, nothing, decaying flesh. There is no spirit, no soul, no god, no afterlife, no universal essence. This I believe.

So, let me relate an interesting and absolutely true story. When I was about 17 myself and Mick decided to have a few drinks and watch a video. A few spliffs later and the young me is in absolute tatters. Nature calls and I stand up to trot off to the toilet, picking myself off the floor after the absolute failure of my legs I crawl the short distance. Whether I actually managed to relieve myself I still dont know but my next memory is Mick waking me up on the bathroom floor, im lying there with my dick in my hands, utterly fucked. Mick smiles and picks me up - clothes me and drags me up to my bed, which I proceed to vomit all over, again Mick smiles, picks me up and puts me in his bed where I sleep.

Im going somewhere with this - trust me!

Mick was waked in the local church. The church dudes were farily cool about the whole thing, leaving the church open the whole night allowing us access to him. At some stage in the night I was in the church with a few friends. At about three in the morning I got up to leave and a usually very proper and civil friend of mine, Emer shouts out "where are you going Mar - you off to fall asleep in the toilet with your dick in your hands?".

It took my brain a while to process exactly what she said - I looked at her (as did everyone else) in total shock, she was a bit shocked herself and could not really believe/understand what she had said. I stood there staring at her for a while trying to figure out if I was dreaming or something, it was a fairly surreal moment. Eventually I sat down beside her and asked her what was going on. She was a bit drowsy and had been on the edge of sleep and she told me she was having "a chat" with Mick in her head, Mick had allegedly decided to tell her an embarassing story about me and proceeded to regale her with the 'dick in hand' incedent. She could not really tell me why she had blurted it out.....

I am sure I had never shared this story with anyone before that night, for obvious reasons. There remains the possibility that Mick had told someone and through a highly unlikely chain of events, Emer, alone among my friends, had heard of it and chose that time, in the church, to take the piss out of me. Somehow I doubt it, amongst other things, Emer and Mick hardly knew eachother.

So what is the point??? I was going to put my own interpretation on events but I still don't really have one, I suppose what i'm saying is even for a guy like me - you can never really know....