Notorious L.I.N.C.O.L.N. is a fictional character created by Ray and Roast Beef, themselves being fictional characters from the web comic Achewood ( http://www.achewood.com/ ) by Chris Onstad.
Notorious L.I.N.C.O.L.N. is the hip hop star twin of Abraham Lincoln. When Ray and Roast Beef created Notorious, they were smashed on Blue Nun, which Roast Beef later described as being so bad that it made then news.
Notorious is Roast Beef wearing a false beard, stovepipe hat (this is the Abraham Lincoln bit), an Adidas jacket, and a massive medallion (this is the Notorious bit). He may or may not have “All weed in his hat” - it was suggested, but none can be seen in the final production.
The Notorious L.I.N.C.O.L.N. only performs once:
Ray: Ladies and gentlemen...
MCs and sucker amateurs alike!
The Notorious L.I.N.C.O.L.N.!
What’s UP mother fucks
I got a permit to rhyme
It’s filed with the city
You should see it sometime
N. L.: When I raise the roof
My paperwork’s in order
I always tell the county
Before I mix my mortar
Ray: The Dude Owns Property!
N. L.: The Jolly Green Giant
Has a stable full of hos
But instead of ladies
He pimps out potatoes
Ray:He Creates Rhymes For Kids!
Some guys like California
Some guys dig Baltimore
I been with chicks in both locales
But they all tell me I snore
Ray: He Gets With The Ladies But In The End They Do Not Like Him!
Though the Notorious L.I.N.C.O.L.N. only performed the above, Ray and Roast Beef wrote about a hundred pages of phat rhymez in a notebook. One such unperformed gem is:
I ain’t never woke up
To no ladies sayin’ thanks
The only women at my door
Want to know what stanks
Notorious L.I.N.C.O.L.N. was only seen in the January 27th Achewood strip, but the strips for January 23rd and 28th also concern him.
- Achewood strip for January 23rd: http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=01232003
- Achewood strip for January 27th:http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=01272003
- Achewood strip for January 28th: http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=01282003
The Achewood fanboy bit: In my opinion Notorious L.I.N.C.O.L.N. is the best minor / one shot character in Achewood. Funnier than Chucklebot, certainly more endearing than Showbiz, and perhaps, in his own strange way, more so than Molly. I do not even take Nice Pete into consideration.
Though Notorious L.I.N.C.O.L.N. is good, it is obvious that he has no future in the strip, save for perhaps on a Notorious L.I.N.C.O.L.N./Little Nephew/Pat Reynolds-when-he-was-nice album. Which would be a hell of a thing. The killer question is: Who would be the voice of Notorious L.I.N.C.O.L.N.?
E2 copyright compliant.