NOS stands for Never Offer Service and is the motto for most sys admins.

In the eldar days of computer, when computers were as tall as mountains and coffee was smoked in pipes (ya liquid drinking sissies of today wouldn't know about that!). Sys Admins were a happy, carefree bunch of demigods. The willingly helped meek users and only cursed half as much as they do now.

Then the great schism happened. A hooded stranger entered the land, offering colored squares that when clicked, created a beautiful blue screen. The users went before the Sys Admins and asked 'why do we use VMS? It is totally weak!'. In shock, the head Sys Admin Crom roared back, 'Puney users! command line is all you need! All else is false'. But it was too late for the users, they were addicted to the sleek, sexy, and hip interface.

As the Sys Admins flung the users from the halls of Vax, the stranger removed his hood, it was the devil! 'Muh4h4h4' the devil laughed, 'n0w j00 wi11 63c0m3 5t00p1d 4nd 14m3' (obviously, 1337 is the tongue of the devil). Users quickly forgot how to use computers and turned to the sins of accounting and sales.

As time moved on, Sys Admins finally came out of the halls of Vax, broken. They cast away their suspenders and beards and mingled among the users; Humbly reduced to fixing printers and clearing mail queues. But, do not be fooled, they are now bitter folk. So if you need help, you better offer sacrifices of smokes and zingers or hear cursing that would make a drunk sailor blush. They never offer service, but it can be begged for.