This is one that every theater jockey can relate to...


Me: Hi, welcome to Mann Theaters, what can I get for you?

Customer: Do you have popcorn?

Me: Yes we do! We have a small bag for $1.50, a medium bag for $2.25, or a large bag with free refills for $3.25. (Inwardly: You stupid prick, of course we have popcorn, we're a bloody movie theater! And the damned prices are on the damned price board!)

Customer: Oh, my, those are expensive! I'd like a small bag please.

(I begin to fill the bag with popcorn)

Customer: That's a small?!? That's absolutely tiny! You know what they're trying to do, right? They just want you to look at that tiny little bag you're paying all that money for and see how tiny it is and get frustrated and buy a medium for a dollar more. Well, that's outrageous! That's highway robbery! I'll just take a Coke!

Me: Sure! Smalls are $1.50, mediums are $2.25, and larges are $2.50. (Inwardly: OMG, here it comes again...)

Customer: High-way-robbery, yessir! I'll take a medium.

(Drink is filled, medium popcorn is made.)

Me: That'll be $4.50, please.

Customer: Here you go...(A five-spot)

(Two quarters, a greasy bag, and a leaky paper cup later...)

Me: Thank you, enjoy your show. (Inwardly: 'You too.', I know it...)

Customer: You too.