A way to refer to a participant in a crime or scandal without naming names. A way to avoid being charged with slander.

A means to hint or pretend that one has inside information about some hush-hush affair. A bluff or boast. An informal form of zero-knowledge proof.

And I must have been dreaming because you had never and have never since hurt me deliberately like you did that night. I was awake when you were laughing in the kitchen and I never said anything because what was there to say to this?
'She's probably lying in bed, right now, crying. Cry, Jane. Cry.'

And you must have been a stranger, because I had never before and never since been hit like that. It must have been the way your hand slipped and knocked my glasses into the hard part of my nose. That nosebleed scared us both more than any of your shouting ever had and left me stammering in terror.

'I'll stop, alright, I'll STOP!'

And it must have been my giddiness, because I had never and have never since been so patronized by someone so important to me. I never bothered afterwards to tell you what I was thinking about because you'd pat me on the head and smile at my trivial thoughts.

Run along, now.

I am not even angry at you, none of you. You are just stories I will remember on rainy days when my mind short-circuits.

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