He's
a sentimental old fool. I wouldn't have it any other way.
He would be the first to
pick me up if I fell, and the first to tell me I was
stupid for falling in the first place. I wouldn't care, though, so long as he still loved me. "
I care".
He makes me so mad sometimes, he tries to tell me what to do.
He worries about me too much. I'll find my way, I'm just a little off course at present. I don't tell him that, though, we don't talk as much as we should, would,
he's too judgemental. (So that's where I get it from..) I guess he was raised in a time where it was okay to be like that. Judgemental. I think of it is a
fault, I don't think he does.
He's racist. His father is a
racist even moreso. I don't like my grandfather, much, we don't see him very often. He is an
alcoholic. My father could have easily become an alcoholic. He isn't. He didn't want his kids to grow up with a father like the one he had, or didn't have at all, as the case would be.
I admire his strength, but wish I could change his mind about the way he judges people based on stupid things.
He dropped out of
high school to work in construction. He always felt stupid for that. He went back to school in his 40's and got his high school diploma for no other reason then to say that he had it, and
it made him feel better about himself. He is a very smart man. I wish he didn't need a piece of paper to help him realize it, and I wish he could see that the fact that he had enough motivation to actually go back in the first place is amazing to me.
He tries to keep us so
close to him, he doesn't really want us to leave but he wants us to do better than him. He's given up a lot for us, he gives up a lot everyday. I don't want him to, he just does it,
I don't think he knows what else to do.
I've made him cry. I don't like that. I've hurt him I'm sure. I disappoint him but he still loves me,
he cares. I know he does and always will. He's got a lot of faults, so does everyone, I guess. I've learned from what he's done, what he says, and more so from what he hasn't.
When my brother went away to college
it broke his heart, even though he wouldn't admit it except perhaps to my mother in private. He cried a lot he was a complete mess. He loves us too much, maybe..
I hate it when he cries more than I hate anything else on this earth. When his friend died of
lung cancer, he cried and I cried only because I knew how much he was hurting, because I didn't know his friend, really. He built him a deck off the back of his cottage a few weeks before he died because that was his
dream, he wanted that deck for as long as anyone could remember. My dad did it for free.. that's what I love about him. He's got more
compassion than anyone I know, though he likes to act really big and tough and mean. Heh.. I see right through it. I'm glad everyone can't. He makes me feel
safe in this world, even if I'm not.