Findings:

• Climbing cherry trees when I was younger
• So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
• I got the feeling the Fairy Council was mad at me when the president knocked over her coffee to get a better grip on my neck
• When I was Fair and Young
• When she was bad
• The things I spend my money on didn't exist when my parents were younger
• relatedly somehow, there was a point a few years ago when I learned how to terrify
• I don't remember what life was like when I was seven. I like the taste of air. What should I do?
• And when she came back she was nobody's wife
• I remember when it was me who made you want to take over the world and enslave humanity
• When touch was simple
• What was I thinking when I said it didn't hurt?
• When I was a kid, I wanted to get tuberculosis
• What I wrote when I was missing David
• I was throwing around useless proverbs when all she needed was to be held and told that she was beautiful
• When I Was A Baby
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• A poem I wrote when I was 5
• When I awoke, I was alone, and screaming
• When daddy was the handsome prince
• where was your heart when we needed it most?
• Where was that stooped and mealy-colored old man I used to call poppa when the merry-go-round broke down?
• I remember when all this was trees
• the cutest baker in the room was making sadfaces at me when i walked out
• When again between cities was comfortable and right
• When I was your age
• When I Was a Lad
• When I was young
• Do you remember how small your body was when you were five?
• I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• When I was five
• I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
• When Desire Was a Virtue
• It was daylight when you looked up from your ditch
• When I was very young, I knew that the world was made of honey.
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• Back when our blood was still warm
• Where were you when Kennedy was shot?
• It was late when he came home; it woke you up
• collecting on old debts from when mom was a loan shark
• Where was that stooped and mealy-coloured old man I used to call poppa when the merry-go-round broke down?
• There was a time when I got lost wherever I went.
• When the best rapper was white, the best golfer was black, and the tallest guy in the NBA was Chinese
• You knew I was a rattlesnake when you picked me up
• when life was kind and we were two young wide-eyed believers
• Back when grunge was still cool
• Some time when I was a teenager
• This was when I knew my childhood was over
• When that cow would walk it was like she was dancing
• I wonder when I learned to smile when I was being hurt
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• When she was new, she rolled around the sky like a black umbrella blown by the wind
• When I was ten years old
• When I Was a Boy
• He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
• Once when I got like this I thought I was building a boat
• when you asked what I was writing, this is what it was
• The smiles you smiled when you thought no one was looking
• It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead
• There was a time when I was a better person
• When I Was Cruel
• When I Was Born for the 7th Time
• I didn't know such things when I was young
• Waiting until dusk, when it was safe
• When I was young Time had no wings
• When Frederic Was a Little Lad
• When I Was One-and-Twenty
• and when you woke up, your goldfish bowl was empty?
• When he was little, he laughed in his sleep.
• Who shouted with glee when the colour blue was born?
• When I was little my mother told me not to sit close to the T.V., so when I was six I did.
• man when you are telling me how it was
• When the Space Shuttle Columbia was destroyed on re-entry, I felt a deep sorrow that Cowboy Bebop was now implausible
• Oh, when I was in love with you
• When he was five, his father made him murder his imaginary friend.
• I wish when I closed a book I could set it on the shelf and know it was really over
• When I was 9
• someday, when she will think back upon the time when she was as yet undishonored
• When I was five years old, I knew I was going to die
• November 4, 1995
• The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
• And When The Sky Was Opened
• there was a time when you couldn't just learn things instantly
• When I Was a Babe
• I was supposed to be dead when this picture was taken
• Remember when the modern prison system was considered progressive?
• The rock under my foot that told me I was real when I was an adult
• I remember when it was me who made her skin flush
• bringing me back to when less was worth more
• I remember when it was me who made her toilet flush
• When our word was iron
• When Grandmother was finished with us
• When I was 21, he was building a Time Machine
• The light on the bottom of the pool that you thought was real when you were a child
• when i wake up i can't remember what it was. it's so hard to smuggle something out of a dream.
• It Was a Beautiful Day When Aunt Norma Died
• When someone was willing to drown with me, I really didn't want to drown anymore
• When I woke up this morning, I thought I was a parallelogram. I still have a sneaking suspicion.
• When H.A.R.L.I.E. Was One
• When we was fat ( ... or, Lord Gym)
• What would aliens think of us if Everything was all they had?
• Descartes was wrong
• Why was Cthulhu blue?
• Music was better in the old days
• Able was I, ere I saw Elba
• Vancouver, Washington
• It was not a weather balloon at Roswell
• Why I was convinced I would die young
• I was expecting it to hurt like a fuck
• my only pin-up was Pelé
• Trompe
• It was a dark and stormy night
• That was a joke, son.
• Man was created in God's image
• I was once a victim of Catholic schooling
• How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
• How Candide Was Obliged to Leave the Fair Cunegund and the Old Woman
• There was once a Man
• I was discovered by scientists, what will they call me?
• I was a young boy that had big plans
• It was hormones, it was hormones, but it was valid
• Nobody cares if it was originally a nodeshell
• hodgepodge was just a one-night stand, apparently
• Cybersex before it was cool
• I was going to marry Marty
• Was I nearly as anti-consumerism as I had initially thought?
• I was searching glass
• I Hear it was Charged Against Me
• No important data was harmed by the ILOVEYOU worm
• I was once stranded on a desert island
• Dawn was a lucky time to give birth
• "He was a terrible man," she sobbed, between bites of alimony
• There was a young lady of Riga
• Upon my indulgence, I was dissatisfied
• I was aghast, yet intrigued
• The Story of the Vizier Who Was Punished
• The Story of the Envious Man and of Him Who Was Envied
• As I Was Going to St Ives
• Calvin Coolidge was the 30th President
• WoOz: 17 How the Balloon Was Launched
• I was into them after they were hip
• I was taken by a honeymoon scam
• Concrete, Washington
• The Princess who was Hidden Underground
• Why I didn't get my driver's license until I was 18
• Which of the Bewitched Dicks was gay?
• How was your trip to London, Dan?
• So I turned round and there was an inflatable man sat at the table
• There was a rose that faded young
• Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few
• I died for Beauty -- but was scarce
• So I was cold chillin on the corner on a hot summer's day
• I'll tell you what kind of guy I was
• They wrote it all in perl but it was mostly system calls
• Oxygen was the world's first pollutant
• Removed from humanity, I realized I was just another distraction
• Jesus was a black man
• Her name was Natalie
• Was I born to play?
• Now it was personal
• sifting sand to find fading past in smooth stones, sorrow was here
• Was this the face that launched a thousand ships
• The highlight of my night was two guys kissing
• There was an old lady
• Shaymus is older than I thought he was
• Death was a part of me then, too.
• Seriously, though, who the hell did I think I was going to become?
• She moved so easily all I could think of was sunlight
• What did people use as incidental music before Moby was invented?
• Na of Wa
• How I was thrown from a car at 45 mph
• I was a bitter, purple-haired fat girl, and I had plenty of male friends
• I was sure it was her
• I was very, very drunk
• She was locked in time
• I didn't want to know where I was conceived
• Christ Was Born on Christmas Day
• What if the world were flat?

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