i see through Your eyes now, no hinderance of time.
it was all incomplete and ill-fated by my nature.
i cursed You for all the things You gave me--
judgement, solitude, a bitter mind--
and i lost sight of You amongst the wonderings of my anger.
failed good intentions resurface and the guilt begins anew
to punish me, to suffer once more for these forgotton sins.
but knowing now Your true motives, knowing You were always there
helps to ease, almost erase the final tracings of old remorses
and gives me wisdom to learn from those wasted days and actions.
* * *
some things i need to be reminded of constantly.. that time may not heal wounds, but it helps us to put that pain in perspective.. that people (me) may fail, but God doesn't.. that i have only myself to blame for my mistakes.
this is old news, old thoughts returning to scratch at an open wound. and though it may take more time, pain, and broken hearts than i would like to sacrifice, i think i'll learn.