I look at my waist in the mirror
"This is where his arms should be".

Why is the right choice
the one that hurts the most?

I like the feeling of tears in my eyes and it doesn’t always mean I am sad. I wipe them off when people are near to avoid their misguided pity. Babies make me smile because they don’t understand suffering yet. I appreciate the sounds of my neighbors having sex as long as they don’t last too long. I often hesitate to talk to strangers because I think they are afraid of me. Sometimes I feel like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Other times I feel like Tinkerbell. When I look into your eyes I see stars, so long as you aren’t cross-eyed. I have never picked up a woman at a bar, club, gym, bookstore or public transit. I can appreciate watching lonely men gaze at women in violent appreciation. One of my favorite things is watching elderly or disabled people make out. I love the idea of bouncy balls. I don’t know what I am supposed to be doing. I think heaven is like being a rainbow. Sometimes I look at clouds and think about gods and cotton and then I remember they are really like a cold floating sauna. I do not intuitively understand why clouds look like they do, that if I leave my cup of water outside it will eventually become part of that cloud. At times I judge women for both wearing makeup and not wearing makeup. I wish I had cravings for food that are actually healthy for me. I keep forgetting how to be my own muse. I don’t think peeps are really edible. The things that make me happy keep changing. When people don’t make eye contact with me I feel like I don’t exist. Laughing is my favorite thing to do and I don’t believe tickling laughter is sincere. I wonder if those evil comic book villains that laugh all the time are happier than me. I like the smell of fresh flowers but not potpourri. There is nothing evil about puppies and flowers. Sometimes I practice karate in my sleep. I get great joy from removing dryer lint. I wish humans were striped like a zebra. Every time someone lights a cigarette I think about eternity and every time I see a wristwatch I think about my cell phone. I will never know what you really think about me.

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