Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "this is a true story, but you'll never get to hear it because I'm such a polite boy"

• I'm so goddamned cruel to you. But you'll never know
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• We All Get Old, But We Never Grow Up
• HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, OWNER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I'M GOING TO DO.
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• You may think I'm lying, but it's true
• It would have been an excellent story but I had to get off the train
• You'll never get away with this!
• The amazing true story of how I became the sixth Backstreet Boy
• You'll never quite know how much you've lost until you get what you were looking for
• Things you don't want to hear (but will) when you get into bed with a girl
• I'm at the station, but I can't get on the train
• You're voting this sucka down now, but I'm going to laugh
• I've been offered a lot for my work, but never everything.
• Don't Sit Next to Me Just Because I'm Asian
• I would've taken an axe to it, but I'm pretty sure the dryad would have pulverized me
• Boy, I was sure lucky to be born into the one true faith!
• I Think I'm a Pervert, But I'm Totally Over It
• I'm not homophobic but...
• Thank God, I'm A Country Boy
• I'm not pregnant, but thanks for asking
• Junk mail never has to spell your name right, but important stuff does
• It's not so much that I like him as a person God, but as a boy he's very handsome
• I may be young, but I'm not naive
• Girls possess me but they're never mine.
• Forever blue, but never black
• Ain't what I'm gonna be, ain't what I wanna be, but lord thank you I ain't what I used to be.
• excuse the pencil but I'm inkless
• Your radical ideas about many things have already occurred to others but have never been articulated in a fashion so accessible to current generations
• the struggle continues, but at least i know i'm not alone
• i'm not sure but i'm listening
• Can I play with your breasts? Yes, but don't get out of the yard.
• Don't assume that just because I'm gay, all I want is sex
• The Story of the Inky boys
• The voting system doesn't work because I'm drunk and that fucks it up
• Never Kill a Boy on the First Date
• The Children's Story... (but not just for children)
• I can't get a girlfriend but my dog has a harem
• I'm not a rocket scientist, but
• I may not know anything but I know I'm not American
• I'm sorry, but we can't watch the rest of MacBeth until it is censored
• I don't Daylog but I'm Daylogging
• A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true
• On two concert, I'm shootive collective photo but small, fat, bald headed technologist be insane
• I'm poor, but I'm happy
• They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
• I'm not religious, but I think I have a close relationship with God
• I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
• Because I needed to hear you over the noise
• Someone has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• I'm a cynical bastard because I care so much, dammit
• curiosity killed the cat, but it never hurt me
• No one asks me if I'm a Satanist or anything because I take the precaution of wearing a predominantly flannel and hawaiian shirt-oriented wardrobe
• But I've said it before and I'll say it again: kneecaps only exist to get hit with claw-hammers; grace only exists to be fallen from.
• I'm happy but you don't like me
• You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
• There were a few moments you will not hear about, but they happened
• I'm not really okay with being hated for what I am. It's hard to take. But it's still better than being loved for something I'm not.
• I'm not sick but I'm not well
• Just because I like ballet it doesn't mean I'm a poof
• we are learning how not to forget, but we still don't know what's true
• but what's the moral of the story?
• Don't assume that just because I'm promiscuous, all I want is sex
• Only Boys Accepting Feminism Get Kissed Meaningfully
• There was a lot of blood, but the boys needed it
• Because I want to. Because I'm good at it.
• Because I've never been able to make anything beautiful
• I'm no fucking Buddhist, but this is Enlightenment.
• Maybe I'm naive but this type of website bugs me
• Being a dickhead
• Just because I say Happy Hanukkah doesn't mean I'm Jewish
• I'm not a dyke just 'cause I shaved my head, but if it keeps certain people away, fuckin' A right on
• I'm not anorexic, but I'm working on it
• Why I'm giving up on boys
• Depressing but probably true rules of life
• It ought to be broad daylight, but the shadow that envelops the story shows no signs of brightening
• I'm not going to fire a 2 million dollar missile at a 10 dollar empty tent and hit a camel in the butt
• Questions you never asked, but now that I mention it, yeah, that's a good point
• God Made Man Because He Loves Stories
• I appreciate your concern for others, but I need to get all my ducks in a row first.
• He comforted me when he thought I needed it, but never when I really did
• Somebody told me a story. It was pretty but boring. It was Saturday night, my stories usually end up that way.
• I get knocked down, but I get up again
• Don't Sit Next to Me, Just Because I'm Gay
• she doesn't write, doesn't tell you stories, but somehow it's her words that spring to mind at those crucial, terrifying moments, and for that you are eternally grateful
• It’s memories that I’m stealing, but you’re innocent when you dream
• I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV
• On the one hand my life is in danger, but on the other hand, I'm getting really stoned
• Bad Boys Rape Our Young Girls But Violet Gives Willingly
• Just because I'm black doesn't mean I can rap
• just because they never bothered to really do
• Yeah I can love my fellow man; but I'm damned if I'll love yours.
• we can give up, but the world never will
• If a system is given nothing but a steady supply of unconditional self-affirmation, it will never see an impetus to cure its ills
• words I've wanted to tell you but never seem to be able to
• untie the boat and turn on the water i'm gone i'm gone i'm gone but it's alright
• sad but true (user)
• you never thought this would happen to you, but it did
• I don't shiver because I'm cold. I shiver because you are.
• That man has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• Let's hear that string part again, because I don't think they heard it
• You don't see the light at the end of the tunnel now, but it's there. I'm holding it for you.
• In Which Ethel Gao Gets Off His Butt and Accepts the Call
• you never felt her hot blood on your face but, hey, who's keeping track
• Eyes are the windows to the soul, but there are some windows that should never be opened
• The prophecy is made up, but it's also true.
• But this isn't a Cyberpunk story
• the ocean is never calm and still, but the depths are very different from the surface
• I don't know about that fellow Rand, but I'd never trust a McNally.
• I'm beginning to think that nothing I think or say makes sense to anyone but me
• I may never be queen, but you will never break me
• Sad but true. Won't ever change. The end.
• one kiss: bad for me, but i give in so easily. i'm weak.
• I can get away with murder, but I can't get you out of my head
• They think I'm crazy, but I know it's real
• Just because I'm nice to her doesn't mean I want to fuck her
• The Boy Who Will Never Win A Coin-Toss
• Boys That Will Never Grow Up
• The Story of the Bad Little Boy
• Because I'm an adult
• I'm a Boy
• Love at first sight OR Girls who are Boys who bring thoughts of philosophy and anthropomorphic hermaphrodism: A Story
• before the internet when teen had REAL relationship the boy could look at the girl and judge the diameter of her thorax with his feelers and determine whether the mating ritual could commence but NO MORE. evil woman use her computer sorcery
• Things that no one told you...until now, because I'm telling you. Consider yourself fortunate
• Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider
• Can you hear me Maggie Thatcher? Your boys took one hell of a beating
• Because everything is teetering nobody notices. But whenever something falls everybody knows.
• But I'm a Cheerleader
• Many girls want to be carnal with me because I am such a premium dancer.
• English may be a "living language," but Latin is not -- so get it right.
• A little Clint Black never killed anybody, but it did evacuate the building.
• Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me
• You're laughing now, but I'm voting this sucka down
• I'm straight, but you might be the one
• It never rains but it pours
• I don't know where he gets his words but I like them
• I ought to be grateful, but instead I'm angry
• I'm gay, but I'm not sure it's genetic
• 1991-96 were more fun years, but I'll likely get more accomplished in the year 2000 alone
• The reason why it's so hard to stay true to yourself is because it's so easy to lose yourself.
• I can't get published, but this crap can
• I always knew I would have a 21st birthday but I never thought I'd be 21
• People tell us who they are, but we ignore it, because we want them to be who we want them to be.
• We're flawed because we want so much more. We're ruined because we get these things and wish for what we had.
• They hate me because I'm beautiful
• Laugh now, because tomorrow I will be ten stories tall and I could just step on you if I want
• I'm not racist but...
• She really does want to clap along, but at the same time she doesn't want to let the bird get out.
• I've never seen a glacier up close, but I've touched your hand. It felt so cold.
• Skim this life but never live
• I'm not a god, but I'm working on it
• I'm tone-deaf, but it's okay
• It did not get nicer, but it sure got a hell of a lot more honest
• I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
• The body's alive, but no head. I'm having a lot of trouble accepting it.
• I didn't read it but I want to get into the author's pants
• mermaids never miss their legs in the sea because mermaids know that there are better ways to move through the ocean than kicking.
• always morning, but never breakfast
• But if life were only moments, then you'd never know you had one
• I call, but I never talk. I knock, but I never enter. I feel a bit insecure.
• It is true, we are robbers, but we always rob in the glare of the day and in the teeth of the multitude
• You're not laughing now, but I'm voting this sucka up
• I can't get a haircut today because I have too much free time
• She could hit four octaves above high-C, but she never performed in public
• I'm cold, but I'm happy
• You can pulp a story but you cannot destroy an idea.
• just because i'm out on the balcony doesn't mean i'm about to jump
• forever falling, but never losing altitude
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• I Can't Speak Because I'm Drowning In My Thoughts.
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• The bastards got me but they won't get everybody
• beauty is invented, but it is also personified, and I know this because I have met her
• Tell me a story about a burro, standing atop a mesa, surrounded by a flock of geese, being fed by a weathered old man wearing nothing but a Jimmy hat
• I'm nothing but a flower falling off a winter stem
• Listen to me, because I am in the soapbox. This is the voice of the soapbox. I am calling to you. Do you hear the sounds of my soaply siren song? My syntactically sweet strumming along to sequential sequestrations of symmetrically snakey st

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