I guess that this is all
back story: I have been married for 9 years. When I began college
9 years ago, my
SO was suddenly far away, the commute sucked. But we had a
brilliant idea. The college has
Married Student Housing. All we had to do was get married. So Simple, so elegant,
Hah! We told the Administration we were getting married. The first question out of the Deans mouth was "Is she pregnant?" That was annoying. They never even asked for proof, we could have lied. So they said, no room this semester, but she can live in a dorm with you.
The Dorm used to be
a hotel, each room had a bathroom and there was enough hot water. Everything else sucked. We lived there through the winter, the similarities to
The Shining were common and unnerving. It was a tiny room, dominated by a double bed, so there was just enough room to walk. She was left alone while I was in class. I hated that room. She must have as well. Things became
twisted and resentful and she left me for one of my friends. Shortly thereafter her mother died, I wanted to be there for her, my father had died 2 years prior. She never let me in. Our conversations after that point have been halting, quiet and empty.
I lived in the married student housing for the next year. I had more space than a dorm, but the building was cold and cheaply built. And I was alone. Discussions of a divorce surfaced occasionally, I began the paperwork for
pro se proceedings, we had no property to split. But I never finished them. Perhaps I was trying to avoid dealing with the
issues or just procrastinating. Years passed, I saw her less and less. It never seemed like priority.
At this point I've all but forgotten about it, I have not spoken to her in years. She called once to say that she would do the proceedings since I hadn't, whatever. Then she moved, to where I do not know. So I have this random fact about my existence that doesn't intrude into my consciousness very often. Of course it
surprises the hell out of people I know whom I forget to tell for months or years.
I suppose that the ball is in my court now, but I think about it so rarely it is hard to
get around to it.