This is heavy satire.Progress accordingly.

He may be your co-worker. He may be your neighbor. He may be your boss. He may even be your father, brother, or even your son. No matter what age, what walk of life, he keeps his condition behind empty eyes, going through the motions of life without really feeling it.

What he needs is sex with a beautiful woman. 

Although it’s been lately bandied about that this is not the case, it is undeniable that every man operates at peak while discharge at the hands of a healthy, attractive woman between 16-24 years old at least once, and often, several times a week. However, this state of affairs has, hitherto, been available only to the elite rich. 

Here at The Gift of Poon, we insure high-quality sex with beautiful women to the every day American worker or professional throughout all the stages of a man’s sexual life, whether young, mature, or elderly, regardless of looks, age, earnings, or social accomplishments.

Our Gifts are drawn from our sister charity, Runaways, Inc.  Selected for looks, health and sexual stamina, Gifts are carefully coached in manners, modeling, and the most advanced gonad release techniques known to man. Then, through our patented Bimboization (tm), we remove all troublesome personality flaws to insure perfect satisfaction for the client. 

Your continuing contribution will keep these services affordable on a sliding scale for all walks of life. However, Premium packages exist that help to defray costs of basic service. 

The Sweet 16: Gift counselors will turn a boy into a Man, overnight and introduce him to Gift services. A Gift to remember!

The Student Care Package: Surprise your favorite four-letter man during Finals with a stress-relieving Gift.     

  The Graduate: A thorough introduction to Gifts.  One of our most popular packages. Why rely on the chancy pickings at a single’s bar, when you can have it done by a professional, during a man’s most demanding years? Have sex on your terms, whenever you like. 

The Bachelor Party:  A farewell to venery, or a beginning? Perhaps, it’s both. 

The Anniversary Waltz: Marital troubles? We’re here to help. Instead of inconvenient and often dangerous outside affairs, The Gift of Poon can smooth things over. With associated Adonis packages, both partners can feel true satisfaction.

Special requests: Have an idea for a special Gift? Want to do something different? Ask us! 

The Bereavement Package: in cases of death, divorce, or desertion, a Gift can be a source of comfort and hope in trying times. 

Your gift, of $25, $50, or $100, will help achieve these goals, for yourself, or for a friend.

You know you need it. Contribute.

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