Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "that annoying guy who you'd like to see help himself just one time, but that can never seem to follow his own advice"

• when my time is in the past, i hope my heart lays in the grass, and feeds another one who lives like it's all just begun
• You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
• Girls Who Like to See Guys Fight
• like you're blind but still can see
• But if life were only moments, then you'd never know you had one
• For every rich man who tries to leave this world for a better one with his fancy tomb surrounded by mourners, there are many more who perish alone in the cold, forgotten by all but God.
• I can see three corners from this corner. Two's a perfect number. But one?
• Hot pursuit
• not like the shoe and not like the ring but just like the heart
• I just realized that I will not live to see the invention of time machines
• Condensed life in a can, like the ones you buy at grocery stores
• we can push our own buttons like adolescent gods
• I don't think I realized what I had gotten myself into, but it seemed like the potential for fun and insanity were there in equal parts
• Shit, why am I the only one here who can perform the Heimlich maneuver?
• you never felt her hot blood on your face but, hey, who's keeping track
• I can see the tracing blue of your just beneath the surface
• The guy who may as well already be dead and therefore doesn't care about the consequences of his actions and is able to move with perfect freedom for the remainder of what will likely be a tragically short life
• If you look hard enough, you can see Satan and his works everywhere
• You can play with my ex-girlfriend, but treat her like the lady that she is.
• I couldn't possibly be the only one who doesn't see empathy as a curse
• He needed to repeat some well-used mantra of love just one more time
• Every time that I tell her that I love her, I can taste my own hypocrisy
• I can never be sure if it was real or just another illusion
• words I've wanted to tell you but never seem to be able to
• Cemeteries are boring, but I can't seem to stay away from this one in particular.
• Don't try to make the moment last. You can ruin it that way. Just learn to savor it and, when the time comes, learn how to let it go.
• Darth Everything meets Death who has just knocked on his front door
• I can lie to the face of the devil himself, but I can't fool you.
• Spinning shapes like a song out of order. In the dark she can see fireflies.
• Never coin a phrase if you can help it
• A man who never sees a pretty girl without loving her a little
• Every time I see a dead fish that isn't, I think of you. Happiness keeps washing over me like a wave. What do I do with it all?
• She doesn't know what he sees, but sometimes it makes his face beautiful
• A Bunch of Guys Who Just Happen To Have Instruments
• It's never really the past; it's always a version of your own time.
• Often I feel like I am just shouting my observations into a raging storm and no one hears
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one
• It's just a doll, but it's a million times more real than your chemicals
• But can you still cry like a child?
• Looking like a pirate is fun but only having one eye annoys me
• Death arrived shortly thereafter, but we were both far too busy to bother with one another just yet
• If a system is given nothing but a steady supply of unconditional self-affirmation, it will never see an impetus to cure its ills
• we can give up, but the world never will
• you can give up, but there will always be those who do not
• I a man sad, with a linux box, a slow internet connection and friends who can not see the love in me bursting to get out.
• don't just wait for it, but you can only wait for it
• i might look like a grown person, but i'm just a tiny confused scientist
• it's like something big is happening right in front of us but we can't see it
• This guy in the computer lab who looks like he should be a doctor
• I feel like shit today, but I can always feel worse tomorrow
• And if terrorists wanted to communicate secretly, mightn't they just do so by collaborating on a 'draft' here at e2? Can the NSA check on our drafts? Who knows? Inquiring minds want to know, Jay!
• The one guy who went to Australia instead of Austria by mistake
• I just don't need help losing things; I'm good enough at that on my own
• Dammit, can you see why his laugh is gonna get us subpoenaed
• I don't know where he gets his words but I like them
• When you get to the top, I know what it'll seem like. But there IS someone there. There IS someone there.
• Just to see what it would be like
• History of His Own Time
• Be a model or just look like one
• "You've never danced with anyone like me before," the angel and the devil said to one another.
• You can’t see it like that. It’s never been anyone’s responsibility to do what’s impossible. It’s not yours.
• So I'm wrestling with the demoness while the priest is trying not to soil his vestments, and Faust is just sitting there like an idiot
• When's the last time you cared about Lenny Kravitz? A) 1991 B) never C) Who?
• these couplets are a waste of time; i never seem to make them scan
• Redemption is very much like vengeance. Redemption has more valor, and is more satisfying if you obtain it. But if you chase it blindly you can waste yourself completely.
• girls who like to see their grandmother fight
• Life is like a strange, unpopular restaraunt filled with odd waiters who give you things you never asked for and don't always like.
• i kept dreaming of a world i thought i'd never see, and then one day i got in
• It seemed like a good idea at the time
• No one will ever love Adam for his honesty. It's just not there
• every horse can be tamed by someone. but they don't always live at the same time.
• There are many like it, but this one is mine
• You can say the train isn't real but it's still going to sting like a son of a b
• i wish i felt like teaching today, but i just want to be selfish
• How can I help but use your eyes as a means for self-asphyxiation?
• I don't know why but I always love episodes without words. like just something about them makes me feel calm or something..
• Men are designed to be good hunters, but it's women who are born killers
• I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV
• Nah, these random encounters with beautiful strangers won't destroy me at all. But I guess I thought it'd be a good way to die at the time.
• Can't imagine why, but I feel like dancing
• I'm so goddamned cruel to you. But you'll never know
• Your radical ideas about many things have already occurred to others but have never been articulated in a fashion so accessible to current generations
• I always imagine those surrounded by time, but I walk on top of it.
• But can a robot love.
• Susan Goldman, who has cervical cancer, is partly thankful as she braces herself but changes her mind as she's sprayed with burning jet fuel.
• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• The Princess Who Kicked Butt
• Life is not always fair, but you can be
• Eyes are the windows to the soul, but there are some windows that should never be opened
• I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
• War is hell but men like it
• Like hating water, but living in the lowlands
• The Firestone dealership was full to the brim with cars. But I reasoned I would need a boat, since my desire was to go to Ireland. Just then a harsh reminder surfaced; water is expensive in hell.
• I can cast Zulthon's Glowing Rings, but I cannot cast you from my heart
• Can I play with your breasts? Yes, but don't get out of the yard.
• I cannot help but think in scenes and paint in memories
• When you can almost recognize her face, but you can't remember her name
• We're not running out of electrons any time soon, but dreams are in short supply.
• Sorry to eat and run, but I've got to go stop Lincoln from killing Hitler in his crib
• You don't see the light at the end of the tunnel now, but it's there. I'm holding it for you.
• In Which Ethel Gao Gets Off His Butt and Accepts the Call
• You can complain about athlete salaries all you want, but my voicemail is still empty.
• Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there's only love in the dark
• Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can make me think I deserved it.
• I've never seen a glacier up close, but I've touched your hand. It felt so cold.
• I love you, but you've just got to leave and not come back. Ever.
• They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
• Ghosts can laugh, but they're already dead
• She could hit four octaves above high-C, but she never performed in public
• the water can kill you, but the beer won’t
• I call, but I never talk. I knock, but I never enter. I feel a bit insecure.
• always morning, but never breakfast
• Yeah I can love my fellow man; but I'm damned if I'll love yours.
• you can close your eyes but not your ears
• Friends and lovers, but sometimes just lovers
• Actually, I went to bed this morning, sometime, but we can gloss over that.
• i remember reading this but i can't remember if i liked it or not
• but you had his eyes and that was sort of almost enough
• I would've suggested just shooting Cupid down, but Faust would’ve objected, so we stuck with the net
• But can you imagine what that would do to all those juggaloes?
• Help wanted. No previous experience necessary. Martyrdom not required but highly suggested.
• you never thought this would happen to you, but it did
• People tell us who they are, but we ignore it, because we want them to be who we want them to be.
• Usually, if you've seen one bald man in a robe, you've seen 'em all, but most of them aren't burning alive from the inside out
• curiosity killed the cat, but it never hurt me
• There's nothing more annoying than to try to rebel against someone who's totally supportive about whatever you want to do
• I cannot produce a definitive list of everywhere I have been, but I can say that I have seen a whole lot of nowhere
• We might not like each other very much afterwards, but at least we'll understand each other.
• I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
• We All Get Old, But We Never Grow Up
• She didn't write like Emily Dickinson, but she did live in a house overlooking a cemetery, and I guess he thought that was important.
• before the internet when teen had REAL relationship the boy could look at the girl and judge the diameter of her thorax with his feelers and determine whether the mating ritual could commence but NO MORE. evil woman use her computer sorcery
• I don't know about that fellow Rand, but I'd never trust a McNally.
• Zephronias is unfriendly to new noders, like, sometimes but not always. Depends on several astronomical variables
• All gods but your own
• I've been offered a lot for my work, but never everything.
• I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee
• their eyes meet for the first time, but they saw each other's hearts
• You can run, but you can't hide
• The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing.
• Commit it then to the flames: For it can contain nothing but sophistry and illusion
• It is not instruction, but provocation, that I can receive from another soul.
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• Girls possess me but they're never mine.
• He comforted me when he thought I needed it, but never when I really did
• Money can't buy happiness but the lack of it can cause a lot of misery
• God Sees The Truth, but Waits
• I won't tell you the real reason why I hate you, but I'll tell you another which is just as good
• It's like this train. It can't run anywhere but where its rails take it.
• You can take the mall out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the mall
• 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
• Gods exist but will only talk to those who stay awake after bedtime under the covers.
• you can lower your standards, or your pants, but you can't make them love you
• You can put your boots in the oven, but that don't make them biscuits.
• I will make him promises, but not ones I am afraid to break
• It's too bad she won't live. But then again, who does?
• For to lose I could accept but to surrender I just wept
• Man is but the imprint of his native landscape
• Life must be lived forward, but it can only be appreciated sideways
• I bind these books, but I can't write in them; I just can't
• love me less, but, love me for a long time...!
• I know it's stealing, but sometimes someone else can say it better than you ever can.
• I used to like it, but it makes me sick to the stomach
• judge a captain not by his shipwrecks, but by whether or not he blames the sea
• But I have seen the sun just once
• It's not so much that I like him as a person God, but as a boy he's very handsome
• The Children's Story... (but not just for children)
• This is just an ordinary well. You think there is more to it, but it is just an ordinary well
• I don't believe in God or the soul but these machines can make me cry
• forever falling, but never losing altitude
• But beauteous fields lie just before me
• Here in the dark, nothing is real but time
• Not just Everything, but INFINITE TURBO EVERYTHING HAPPY FISH

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