what sticks in my mind is not that she is smart but the phrase "ideology"
out of place in our banal ritualized lives where what's for supper rules
the day and bombs are too expensive. my front yard looks a bit like a
teenager's version of the word so I make sure to hide my allegiances
as best I can but every now and then a wrapper turns up in high grass
from the night before with scribbled nonsense on it. I have to wonder
what the neighbors must think since the gas canister goes unsupervised
for two months at a time, whether they're allowed to call the police
or even a doctor specializing in ambition only for oblivion.
It's not the government I own a gun for, I'd be a fry cook mad at Ronald McDonald
when there's a television commercial telling me "i'm lovin it," when no one on this planet can even tell me what "it" is.
Still, I'm supposed to show up in the first place for boring dinner parties and math class
so I'll know how to use a calculator and how to avoid talking about politics. It's depression
to have no opinions on anything when there's so many necessary. I know I like slow rivers
and giving change, but it never seems to show up on any of the questionnaires.