Even if you don't use any Microsoft software, this site is worth a visit. Maybe even more so.

  • Learn why Barney plays Peekaboo when you're not around.
  • Read the tantalizing tale of Koi and the Kola Nuts.
  • See the joysticks that won't function on less than a Pentium-166.
  • All of this and so much more on support.microsoft.com.


Q102900 - FTP Server May Not Allow Any Connections
Who said that Microsoft don't know jack about security?

Q172653 - Sometimes Barney Starts Playing Peekaboo on His Own
I cannot comment this without wetting my pants.

Q131109 - Explorapedia Nature Earth Rotates in Wrong Direction
"We are researching this problem and will post new information here in the Microsoft Knowledge Base as it becomes available."

I assume that fixing this small bug and making a patch available wouldn't be the One Microsoft Way. Noooo nonono, they must be researching how to make our planet rotate in the other direction. Truely innovative.

Q102881 - DEL Command Gives Nonintuitive Message
So does most other commands, quit bashing DEL, some of us happen to like it.

Q152697 - Koi and the Kola Nuts: The Story of Koi and the Kola Nuts
If only I could have some of what they must be smoking.

Q243005 - ACC2: Access Defaults to Year 100 When You Enter Only the Month and the Day
Makes sense.

Q245023 - XL97: Error Message: You Do Not Have Excel 97 SR-2 on This Computer
"CAUSE: Multiple versions of Excel are installed on your computer."

Q264320 - PRB: Windows NT Virtual DOS Machine Does Not Free 16-bit Environment Blocks
16-bit code execution still work in progress.

Q270680 - SideWinder Dual Strike: Minimum System Requirements
Q270687 - SideWinder Precision Racing Wheel: Minimum System Requirements
These joysticks require at least a Pentium-166, 16Megs of RAM and 10Megs of hard disk space. That's too close to the Microsoft toaster joke for comfort.

Q269436 - PhD2000: Cannot Open PhotoDraw TIFF File in Microsoft Imaging
In case you don't know: PhotoDraw is also by Microsoft. I know TIFF is one ugly fileformat, with several subformats and thingamabobs, but one should think that Microsoft would use the same components for reading and writing TIFF files across applications, but apparently they don't. Take that, code reusability.

Q80520 - How Microsoft Ensures Virus-Free Software
Quick summary: They use UNIX and Macs.

Q157668 - Kitchen: Selecting Blendolini Causes Choco-Banana Shake Hang
Do you seriously think that this company can make real software?

Q141373 - ACC: "There Is No License" Error Message Starting Microsoft Access
Fix it by renaming a font and reinstalling Access. Whoever is responsible for this should be shot or at least have the word "incompetent" tattooed on his forehead.

Another good one is:

Q153785 - Microsoft Word Stops Responding While Typing Very Quickly
"Typing very quickly and accurately for varying lengths of time may cause Microsoft Word to stop responding." If you have any of Word's automated features like AutoCorrect enabled, and you type a lot quickly without pressing backspace, tab, return, or delete, Word gets confused about not being able to activate its automated features.

There are bizarre ones too:

Q276304 - Error Message: Your Password Must Be at Least 18770 Characters and Cannot Repeat Any of Your Previous 30689 Passwords

If you log on to an MIT realm, press CTRL+ALT+DELETE, click Change Password, type your existing MIT password, and then type a new, simple password that does not pass the dictionary check in Kadmind, you may receive the following error message:

Your password must be at least 18770 characters and cannot repeat any of your previous 30689 passwords. Please type a different password. Type a password that meets these requirements in both text boxes.

Note that the number of required characters changes from 17,145 to 18,770 with the installation of SP1.

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