Two sub-atomic jokes:
  1. Two atoms are walking along. Suddenly one looks around in panic. "Oh my God!, he starts shouting, "I've lost an electron!!!"
    So the other atom looks at him in shock and says: "Are you sure?"
    "I'm positive", he answers.
  2. A neutron walks into a bar, and orders a shot of vodka. The bartender serves him and he drinks it up. He gets up to leave and asks the bartender how much he has to pay.
    The bartender replies "For you, no charge."
Q:What does the quantum duck say?

A: "Quark, quark."

I heard the other day the scientists discovered that neutrinos have mass...

I didn't even know they were Catholic.

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