She looks in the mirror and despite everything that's happened to her, she hasn't let it change who she is, but how she views the world. Her main goal in life is to maintain the way that she has always been...herself. She hates herself for blaming you.
She looks at a picture and doesn't know when it was taken or who took it. The smile isn't the same, the stars in those eyes are gone. She looks harder at the picture and tries to find the best out of it, but fails. She feels a rush of abuse, sadness come over her. Somehow...jaded. She blames herself.
She stands alone near the still water at the beach where she would sit, write and listen to the sounds of life. She is remembering those beautiful days and remembers the darkest hour. This is where she ran to cry...alone about all the horrible things that happened to her. How could a place so peaceful, be so warlike? She hates herself.
She prays and can't remember when was the last time she sat in silence. As she continues, she realizes that she is not only praying, but crying. She feels a warmth around her and yet...she feels ice cold. She knows she'll be ok and no one can touch her now. She understands you.
She sleeps now and tries to dream of the days when happiness came naturally for her. She feels someone watching over her, trying to keep the nightmares away. She's not scared. Anxious for the night to be over and start another day in her life. Smiling at the thoughts racing through her tired mind, she sighs and falls into a deep sleep. She forgives you.
I wake up and smile. Go to look in the mirror, just like any other day. This day seemed different, I felt it. I can still remember all the things that have happened, but my goal is the same...myself. I don't hate myself for blaming you.