A song written by myself in 1993 for my band, Chaos Theory



I wish I could live in a sit com
Livin’ there is such a dream
Everyone’s so great in a sit com
So crazy I want to scream

Happy happy all the time
Sit com life is such a crime
You will never have a problem
If you do, they will solve them!

I wish I could live in a sit com
Living there is such a dream
Everything’s so fun in a sit com
so happy I want to scream

Happy happy all the time
Sit com life is such a crime
You will never have a problem
If you do, they will solve them!

Why can’t I do time in a sit com?
M-16 or an Uzi
Killing sprees would be great in a sit com
Dead Daddy’s and Mommy’s



In 1993 I sang in a punk rock band called “Chaos Theory”. We played almost every weekend for about half the year at this small all ages club in Hagerstown, MD called Breakers. Although know I can look at the songs I’ve written since and see the growth and complexity in comparison to songs like this I always love re-reading my older lyrics and remembering the ferocity and brutality that I produced then. I wrote this song after a long conversation between my father about the relevance of television situational comedies and their comparison to real life.

“Jake,” my father said, “ It’s entertainment. Watch it, forget your troubles for a little while and relax.” I thought he was brainwashed. I thought that he, a twenty plus year veteran of the military, the president of a small company, the most moral and responsible man I had or have ever known had been duped into the same trap that most Americans fall for. I was so sure of myself. Television was evil. Pop music was evil. Corporations were evil. If it doesn’t have DIY stamped on it somewhere it’s part of the machine, and the machine is what is marching everyone like lemmings toward the cliff. It wasn’t until years later that I would learn that my father was right. Damn him!

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