- Name
- satanizer.pl
- Purpose
- To track down satan incarnates.
- Means
- Calculating the sum of ASCII codes in person's name.
- Usage
- Get perl. Copy the code below to a file, and execute it. In unix, with most browsers the
easiest way to do this is to just type "perl satanizer.pl" whenever you want to run it. You may also "chmod 750 satanizer.pl", but
since some browsers seem to add whitespaces, you must edit the file so that the "#!/usr/bin/perl -w" is in the first column of first row.
- Go to http://iki.fi/kaatunut/cgi-bin/satanizer-cgi.pl (not suited for mass processing files, but then again, you likely have perl if you do that
anyways).
- Notes
- As I was doing last research before posting this, I was informed by Shardik in rather nasty terms that the joke
about Al Gore and 666 is well known. This troubled me, since I honestly didn't know about that, and because it made me realize this would
hardly be the first program for this purpose.
- See also
- satan incarnate
satanizer 0.1, source:
#!/usr/bin/perl -w
$debug=0;
@number=(666);
$verbose=1;
$quitfirst=0;
$viewnumber=0;
$factual=0;
$listnumber=0;
while (@ARGV) {
$t = shift(@ARGV);
if ($t eq "-help") {
print<<END_OF_HELP
Usage: satanizer.pl [parameters] <name>
"Here is the wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of
the beast; for it is the number of a man; and his number is
Six hundred threescore and six"
This program will help you in easily identifying the people who carry
Shai'tan, the Prince of Lies, in their heart through the number of 666.
Just supply the name of person to be examined on the command line and
program will report his true loyalties.
Parameters:
-number NUM[,NUM...] Use alternative number(s) instead of 666. You
may also supply multiple numbers, in which
case all of them will be checked.
-silent Output only matching names, name-per-line, no
useless babble included.
-stop In case of multiple numbers, stop after first
matching number.
-list-number Under -silent, append the number that matched
after the name in output.
-view-number Report which number the person would match to
without mutilation.
-proper Speak sensibly.
-file FILE Get the names to be used from FILE, name per
line. Further names on command line will be
ignored.
DISCLAIMER: If you are offended by this program, I laugh at you. Please
send emails condemning me to hell for blashpemy to kaatunut\@iki.fi, I
will enjoy them.
Send bug reports to kaatunut\@iki.fi.
END_OF_HELP
;
exit;
} elsif ($t eq "-version") {
print<<END_OF_TEXT
Satanize 0.1
(c) 2000, Juhan Aslak Näkkäläjärvi
This program is free software, and is under the GPL license.
END_OF_TEXT
} elsif ($t eq "-number") {
@number=split /,/,shift(@ARGV);
} elsif ($t eq "-silent") {
$verbose=0;
} elsif ($t eq "-stop") {
$quitfirst=1;
} elsif ($t eq "-list-number") {
$listnumber=1;
} elsif ($t eq "-view-number") {
$viewnumber=1;
} elsif ($t eq "-proper") {
$factual=1;
} elsif ($t eq "-file") {
$filename=shift(@ARGV);
open(FILE,$filename) or die "can't open $filename!";
push @name,$_ while (<FILE>);
close(FILE);
chomp @name;
} elsif (substr($t,0,1) eq "-") {
print "Unknown parameter \'$t\'.\n";
} elsif (!@name) {
$name[0]=$t;
while (@ARGV) {
$name[0].=" ".shift(@ARGV);
}
}
}
if (!defined $listnumber) {
if (!$verbose && !$quitfirst) {
$listnumber=0;
} else {
$listnumber=1;
}
}
if (!@name) {
print "You need to supply a name.\n";
exit;
}
for $j (0 .. $#name) {
for $i (0 .. $#number) {
my $t;
$ret=satanize($name[$j],$number[$i],\$mutilation,\$t,0);
if ($viewnumber) {
print "$name[$j]\'s number is $t\n";
$viewnumber=0;
}
if (!$ret) {
if (satanize($mutilation,$number[$i],0,\$t,1),$t!=$number[$i]) {
die "satanization failure";
}
if ($verbose) {
if ($factual) {
print "$mutilation matches to $number[$i].\n";
} elsif ($number[$i]==666) {
print "$mutilation is the Satan's incarnate on earth!\n";
} else {
print "$mutilation was born to the number $number[$i].\n";
}
} else {
print "$mutilation";
print " - $number[$i]" if $listnumber;
print "\n";
}
last if $quitfirst;
} elsif ($verbose) {
if ($ret==1) {
if ($factual) {
print
"$name[$j] cannot be made to have asciisum of $number[$i] by any currently ".
"used mutilation methods. Try changing non-trivial spelling (ie. letters).\n";
} elsif ($number[$i]==666) {
print
"$name[$j]\'s waveform seems to indicate that it is a human. It might be a ".
"guise though, try changing some letters in the name.\n";
} else {
print
"$name[$j]\'s waveform does not match to number $number[$i].\n";
}
} elsif ($ret==2) {
if ($factual) {
print
"$name[$j] has too few non-whitespaces to reach $number[$i]. Try adding some.\n";
} elsif ($number[$i]==666) {
print
"$name[$j] has some satanic breed but it lacks strength.\n";
} else {
print
"$name[$j] has shown potential tendencies towards number $number[$i], but it ".
"has no power to reach that.\n";
}
} elsif ($ret==3) {
if ($factual) {
print
"$name[$j] has too many non-whitespaces to reach $number[$i]. Try removing some.\n";
} elsif ($number[$i]==666) {
print
"$name[$j] has some satanic breed but it cannot contain its powers.\n";
} else {
print
"$name[$j] has shown potential tendencies towards number $number[$i], but it ".
"cannot contain its powers.\n";
}
} else {
print "ACK! $name[$j] must be Satan Himself, you shouldn't ".
"see this message ever :(\n";
}
}
}
}
## satanize(name,number,outname,outnumber,short)
sub satanize {
my($name,$number)=@_;
my $num=0;
my $times=0;
my $lcase_num=0,$ucase_num=0,$space_num=0;
my($c,$i,@upl,@downl,@spacel);
for $i (0 .. (length $name)-1) {
$c=substr($name,$i,1);
$num+=ord $c;
if ($c eq " ") {
$space_num++;
push @spacel,$i;
} elsif ($c ne uc $c) {
$lcase_num++;
push @downl,$i;
} elsif ($c ne lc $c) {
$ucase_num++;
push @upl,$i;
}
}
${$_[3]}=$num if $viewnumber || $_[4];
return $num if $_[4];
if ($num==$number) {
${$_[2]}=$name;
return 0;
}
if ((abs($number-$num) % abs(ord('a')-ord('A')))) {
print "nondivisible\n" if $debug;
return 1; # not divisible
}
$times=($number-$num)/abs(ord('a')-ord('A'));
if (($times<0 && (-$times)>($lcase_num+$space_num)) ||
($times>0 && $times>$ucase_num)) {
print "not enough space: $times transformations needed\n" if $debug;
return 2 if $times>0;
return 3 if $times<0;
}
# capitalizing rule: find existing capitalized points and start adding to them
# decapitalizing rule: drop capitalized letters randomly
# spacing rule: remove random spaces after everything is capitalized
${$_[2]}=$name;
if ($times<0) { # Capitalize
my $p=0;
if (!@upl || $upl[0]!=0) {
splice @upl,0,0,-1;
}
print "capitalize $times times\n" if $debug;
while ($times && @upl) {
do {
$upl[$p]++;
if ($upl[$p]>=(length ${$_[2]})
|| (substr(${$_[2]},$upl[$p],1)
ne lc substr(${$_[2]},$upl[$p],1))) {
# kill this pointer (and move to next in row):
# at the end of string or at ucase character
print "kill pointer $p at $upl[$p]\n" if $debug;
splice @upl,$p,1;
if (@upl) {
$p=0 if $p > $#upl;
redo;
} else {
print "break\n" if $debug;
last;
}
} elsif (substr(${$_[2]},$upl[$p],1)
eq uc substr(${$_[2]},$upl[$p],1)) {
# ignore: uppercase or special character-
# but uppercase was checked above so spec char
redo;
}
} while (0);
last if not @upl;
substr(${$_[2]},$upl[$p],1)=uc substr(${$_[2]},$upl[$p],1);
print " =>${$_[2]}\n" if $debug;
$p++;
$p=0 if $p>=@upl;
print "p now: $p\n" if $debug;
$times++;
}
if ($times) { # time to remove some spaces!
my @kill_list;
while ($times) {
$p=int rand @spacel;
push @kill_list,$spacel[$p];
splice @spacel,$p,1;
$times++;
}
@kill_list=reverse sort @kill_list;
print "kill ".@kill_list." spaces\n" if $debug;
for $i (0 .. $#kill_list) {
substr(${$_[2]},$kill_list[$i],1)="";
}
}
return 0;
} else {
my $p;
print "decapitalize $times times\n" if $debug;
while ($times) {
$p=int rand @upl;
substr(${$_[2]},$upl[$p],1)=lc substr(${$_[2]},$upl[$p],1);
splice @upl,$p,1;
$times--;
}
return 0;
}
print "bug- shouldn't be here\n";
return 100;
}