An animal that mysteriously appears in mailboxes across the country in its two-dimensional form can, in rare cases, be referred to as one of the elite qousqousqritters. Its head is often represented by a misshapen circular button-type object, from which two sticks protrude almost perpendicularly to the scalp. Ears are present as well, one connected normally while the other wanders away at a 45-degree angle on the creature’s left side.

Let us not overlook the two dark dots that are off centered on the qousqousqritter’s flat face. These dots appear to be eyes. The eyes rest slightly atop a horizontal line (we’ll say it’s the mouth), from which a long tongue hangs in motionless silence.

The neck is crooked and best left unmentioned. Oops.

Although the creature is in possession of four legs, it only has one defined foot. This is not as bizarre as the curled tail jutting from its bum and reaching a height equal to that of its normal ear.

Overall, this critter is remarkably similar to a goat-llama hybrid.

Read the description one more time
with the excited Australian accent of Steve Irwin.
It changes everything.

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