Kind of like Questions, except with lame puns based on a particular theme. A fun way to pass idle time between two punsters while taking a walk down the street, waiting for dinner to cook, killing time in the Cheddarbox, or bouncing e-mail back and forth. The winner is the last one to squeeze a useable pun out of the current topic.

An example is the best way to explain. I'll swipe this one from a recent Arlo and Janis comic strip:

Janis: How's my favorite couch potato? (Note the innocent beginning)
Arlo: He only has eyes for you! (The opening salvo)
J: Well, he has a peel to me! (Serve returned)
A: You're just buttering me up! (A weak but fair rebound)
J: Yam not!
A: Are tuber! (Now they're getting into it...)
J: You're a hot potato!
A: You masher!
J: I give up... I'm all out of half-baked puns. (A fake! Brilliantly executed!)
A: Ah, and I had a good one about Mister Potato Head! (Ooh, no pun there. Point goes to Janis!)

They're only lame until you get into the spirit of the thing. Once the first four or five puns have been fired off, then the rush is to get the most obvious ones out of the way before you have to struggle. A true punster will admit defeat gracefully rather than have to lower himself to a weak or non-pun.

Of course, you don't need to settle for simple victory if you're on a roll. If you've got three or four more good puns in your head before your opponent can stammer out one, by all means, let him have 'em. Your objective is to make him groan so loudly that he has to curl up into a ball and crawl to the next room.

For some reason, pun wars seem to go best when played between two mutually attracted people. It seems that punsters consider quick wits incredibly sexy.

Hey, I'm not complaining....

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.