With the 2012 Presidential Elections just around the corner and the polls seemingly tightening between Democratic incumbent Barack Obama and Republican candidate Mitt Romney I thought it might be interesting to take a look at how the race might not be decided.
While many people are still sitting on the fence as “undecided” and are probably waiting to hear the candidates debate over the coming weeks before making up their minds there’s also a group of people who are fed up with the entire process and would rather cast their vote for somebody who has no chance of winning. Here in the States, this is what’s known as a “protest vote” and there’s many ways to make your voice heard when it comes casting your ballot.
The first, and to me the most obvious, way to cast your protest vote is for a so called “fringe party” candidate and throughout the years there have been some doozies. As sort of a public service, here’s a short list of some of the loons that you can vote for in the 2012 elections.
Not to be confused with Terry Jones of Monty Python lore, this Terry Jones is a pastor from the great State of Florida. Mr. Jones is probably best known for his work as an author. His best known work in that role is something called Islam is Of The Devil. Back in 2010 he actually proposed something called “The International Burn A Koran Day” to be held annually on September 11. His platform centers on rounding up all of the illegal immigrants and deporting them. No surprise, he also want to reduce the corporate tax rate.
Jimmy gained some national notoriety back in 2010 when he ran for Governor of New York while flying the flag of The Rent Is Too Damn High Party. Recently he abandoned them and switched over to the Republican side of the aisle. His qualifications for office include climbing to the top of the Brooklyn Bridge and lighting himself on fire.
Do yourself a favor and tear yourself away from this w/u for a second and do a Google image search on this guy. I'll wait.../me hums a tune and drums his fingers
Are you back yet? Good. That should have told you just about everything you needed to know. One thing it didn't tell you though was that on the plus side, if elected, he wants to give each and every American a pony. To which I respond, "Who doesn't want a pony?"
The Average Joe, Joe Story
To me, Joe ain’t so average. His campaign contends that Barack Obama is indeed an undercover Muslim terrorist and was planted here under the guise of a sleeper cell. Just in case you didn’t know, according to Joe, Hezbollah is secretly controlling Mexico, hence the influx of so many illegal immigrants.
Yup, the former sitcom star has tossed her hat in the ring with the blessing of something called the “Green Tea Party”. Besides running for President she’s also mentioned that she’d like to run for Prime Minister of Israel. One has to wonder what the world would be like if she won both races.
Some of you might have already heard of this guy. After all, he’s run for President in each election since 1988. All he wants to do is bring back Prohibition. He’s also got such groups as “atheists, Marxists, liberals, queers, liars, draft dodgers, flag burners, dope addicts and sex perverts” in his crosshairs. I'm forced to wonder if that population is the same as the 47% of Americans whom Mitt Romney sort of dismissed recently as not being able to win their vote and he wouldn't worry about them.
Nicknamed “The Impaler” he’s no longer running but I thought he deserved an honorable mention. Why “The Impaler” you might ask? Well, Mr. Sharkey claims he’s a vampire and advocates beheadings and impalement for those convicted of brutal crimes. Goodbye abortion and evolution too. As for his favorite beverage, Mr. Sharkey claims to drink the blood of his girlfriends and mistresses on special occasions.
Folks, that’s just a short list of some of the more, shall we say, eccentric personalities that could be elected as POTUS if we band together and start seeing things through a different lens. If you’re really interested in going the “fringe” route I strongly encourage you to do your homework and start Googling the shit out of the web.
”Fringe party “candidates should not be confused with something known as “third party candidates” since they really have no impact on the elections. For recent “third party candidates” and how they swung the elections I refer you to Ross Perot in 1992 and 1996 and Ralph Nader in 2000.
There are other numerous ways to cast a protest vote such as writing in fictional characters, selecting “none of the above” if that option appears on the ballot or just submitting an empty slate.
Some folks consider abstaining from voting as a form of protest vote and I call bullshit on that. To me, that’s just plain apathetic or lazy. Hopefully any readers of this w/u will go do some research on their own on some of the candidates I mentioned earlier and drag their ass to the polls and cast their ballot in a way in which it can be heard.
Who knows, it might get a bit more interesting than what we currently have in store for 2012.